The Walk of Shame is awkward. End of story.
Even if you are trolling through a college town filled with kids who fully support and expect it, walking home with last night’s hair, makeup and footwear is never your proudest moment (though mastering the Wheelbarrow drunk the night before came pretty close).
Unfortunately, for many college coeds, the Walk of Shame is inevitable, especially when you combine Dollar Pitcher night at the local bar and a whole lot of good looking boys. But just because you are walking home from some dude’s house early in the morning doesn’t mean you have to look that way.
I am a strong believer in preparing for everything, and the Walk of Shame is no exception. Pack a few things before you go and no one will have any idea where you were last night.
First things first, avoid that “going out bag” and opt for something bigger. You probably already have one, but in case you want an excuse to buy something new, I love this new Tycoon Dome Satchel from Juicy. Cute enough for a night on the town, but big enough to pack all of the essentials.
Makeup Remover: The biggest giveaway on a Walk-of-Shamer besides traipsing through campus at 8am is the black eyeliner smudged under her bloodshot eyes. Get rid of that shiz. Toss a travel size bottle of makeup remover (or those handy little pads) into your bag before you go.
Pressed Powder: The morning after a heavy night of drinking leaves your face feeling and looking…less than fresh. And let’s be honest: you don’t want anyone (including that boy) seeing those stress related zits that popped up all over your chin.
Mascara: Bring it along to finish off the “I’m up early to go to the library!” look. This combined with the powder and removal of last night’s makeup will leave you lookin’ so fresh and so clean, clean.
Headband: Even if you didn’t get much sleep last night (you dawg), your hair is gonna be lookin’ a little ruffled in the AM. If you have a pony tail holder with you, use that. If your hair is short, though, throwing on a headband will pull it off your face and give off more of a “I am far too busy/lazy to wash it” look than the obvious “I totally just had morning sex and he didn’t drive me home” style.
Breath Strips: Easier to transport than a toothbrush (and don’t require you to get out of bed to freshen that morning breath!) these little guys are a must-have. You never know who you are going to run into on the street and cigarette/stale beer breath is a huge Walk of Shame red flag.
A Fresh Pair of Undies: You may have just spent the evening doin’ the dirty, dirty, but that doesn’t mean you have to be dirty. Bring along a fresh pair. Also good if things get a little wild and your underwear ends up on the top of a dresser, in the woods or…where the hell did those things go!?
If the weather is warm, tossing in a pair of flip flops and a casual t-shirt is a good idea. Seeing a girl walk arond in a tube top and heels is obviously a clear giveaway of what she was doin’ the night before. (If it is cold out, a simple jacket can cover up the evidence.) You can also take advantage of the more casual looks that are big right now and just opt for a deep-V t-shirt (the American Apparel ones are the bomb diggity) and a pair of skinny jeans for your going-out ensemble.
[Walk of Shame photo courtesy of Owen Yeo on Flickr.]