“She Had Back Problems, Man!”: Getting a Breast Reduction

You know that scene in Superbad, where Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are talking about the girl who got a breast reduction and Jonah Hill says, “Why would she do that? It’s like slapping God in the face.”
Well, several weeks ago, I “slapped God in the face.”
Sure, the road to recovery is a bumpy one: Pain like you wouldn’t believe, that can’t even be fixed by prescriptions. The healing of scars. Ruining every bra with ointments to help me get better…
But all the negatives aside, here are my favorite things about my breast reduction thus far.
Hi, my face is up here: You can’t believe how refreshing it is to have guys look at my face instead of just my chest. I used to have full-on conversations with people and their eyes somehow stayed fixated on my chest the entire time. Classy, right? It’s nice to be reminded that some people in this world do make eye contact.
Cutest bras EVER: Why didn’t Victoria’s Secret ever make fun bras in my old size?
Whoa, my clothes fit: I like that now I can “fill out” my tops in lieu of “spill out” of my tops. Now I don’t look like my boobs are overflowing all of my dresses.
I CAN DO THAT?: I can now comfortably touch my toes, run without my back or neck spazzing out every five seconds, wear one bra to the gym instead of two and borrow shirts from people without being scared that I’d stretch them in the wrong places.
The positives outweigh the negatives for sure, and the only thing I can say is: sh*t, I wish I did this sooner.

Fashion Rocks 2008: The Classy, Sassy, & Strange
Fashion Rocks 2008: The Classy, Sassy, & Strange
  • 10614935101348454