This political season, everyone who is against abortion keeps rattling off about how it’s an easy choice for a woman. I hear words scrambled into arguments that are excruciatingly harsh. Words like…MURDER and SELFISH and HUMAN LIFE and RESPONSIBILITY. I am here to tell you that abortion is never an easy choice. For anyone.
No, I have not had an abortion myself. Thankfully, I have been using birth control and condoms consistently and I have never been pregnant. If I were to ever become pregnant somehow, I cannot say that I would have the baby. I know that choice is gut-wrenching. That is why I do everything I can to make sure that I don’t ever have to make it. I have been sexually active for almost 5 years now and my methods of birth control have always worked.
Some of my friends, however, have not been as careful as I have been. Some of my friends, including a best friend and a roommate, have gone through the process of an abortion. Believe me, it is not as easy as many people paint it to be. I have watched these girls cry for nights on end. The choice to have something taken out of your body that could grow into a life, regardless of whether or not you believe it is currently ‘alive,’ is one of the hardest choices a woman can ever make.
My old roommate, Carol, couldn’t speak for days after she found out she was pregnant. She was 21, in college, and a dancer. Going forward with having the baby would mean postponing her college graduation at least a year. She would have had no way to pay rent — since she was paying it through student loans — if she left her dance program. She would have to move back across the country to live with her mom and be apart from all of the friends she had made, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend wanted the choice to be hers, but we all knew the truth: he didn’t have any money and hardly any responsibility.
Carol didn’t have any money. Growing and bonding with a baby for 9 months, at the cost of Carol’s college education and livelihood, all for her to give the baby up for adoption, was not an option. I did not blame her when she told me that she was going to have an abortion. She and her boyfriend saved up money for it and went together. She cried constantly for the next few months, but always knew she had made the right choice. Now, a few years later, she and that boyfriend are married with a newborn. She has her degree and they both have steady jobs and a happy family.
All I’m saying is this: abortion is never easy. Please stop acting like it is. Having the choice is actually very difficult, but I believe that there is something to be said for responsibility. There is something to be said for a woman who can, despite her maternal instincts, know that she is not yet ready to mother or carry a baby.