Gossip Girl Recap: The Fall of Queen B.

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I have a confession. When Joey Potter chose Pacey Witter over Dawson Leary, I was pissed. I mean, the show was “Dawson’s Creek,” not “Pacey’s Creek.”

That said, Gossip Girl seems to be taking a similar turn this season, as the supporting characters are totally stealing the spotlight. How ironic, considering that last night’s episode was all about Blair’s insecurity and the dark shadow that Serena casts on her. Let’s just get right down to business and discuss.

This week’s GG lesson? Your whole life is fulfilled when your photo appears in US Weekly, apparently. And if you aren’t photographed by the paparazzi at the age of sixteen, apparently all of your conniving plans to take charge of your mom’s fashion show and upstage your (former) bff will blow up in your face and bring great success to everyone else.

Blair is running on a very short fuse. But in this episode, you gotta feel for the poor girl. Let’s revisit:

-B. gets her friends 2nd row seats to the fashion show.

-S. appears in a trashy gossip mag.

-Little J. suggests putting S. and her new socialite friend, Poppy, in the front row, thwarting the childhood tradition of B. and S. helping backstage at the show.

-B. has a nervous breakdown with the maid, then discovers that Jenny has been skipping school, and decides to ruin J’s life to feel better about herself.

-At Eleanor Waldorf’s fashion show, B. tries to take the reins, only to have Little J. stand up to her. And win. Even Eleanor take’s Jenny’s side. Ouch. Your own mother choosing the social outcast over you must really sting.

-B. tries to get even, without considering that such antics as dismissing all of the models might ruin her mother’s show. Little J. suggests replacing the models with Serena and Poppy, which further infuriates B.

-Finally, B. switches Serena’s dress, replacing her mother’s design with a Little J. original. Still, everyone but Blair comes out on top when the dress is a smash.

See what I mean? No matter what, Blair just can’t win. And, despite informing Rufus that she’s dropping out of school, it looks like Jenny has a glimmer of hope in the fashion world (which she will undoubtedly screw up in a future episode). After J. sympathizes with B. (we both have to work for everything, blah blah blah, that’s why I wanted to be your friend), Blair tries to reconcile with Serena, only to have Serena brush her off to go do rich socialite things with Poppy.

In other supporting character news, Dan makes a feeble attempt to experience the life of Chuck Bass, which leads to tequila shots, street drugs, and Dan being left on the street with no wallet and no shoes. This is all in the name of inspiring Dan’s next novel. Because that makes perfect sense. Dan’s mentor tells him that the “Chuck” character in Dan’s manuscript is way more exciting than the “Dan” character (sorry, Lonely Boy, it’s true), so Dan tries to crack the vault that is Chuck Bass.

What do we learn? Chuck craves attention from his dad, who may or may not resent him due to the fact that the original Mrs. Bass may or may not have died giving birth to Chuck. After Chuck tries to purchase a prostitute that’s really just a scantily clad lass, Dan gets socked by an angry boyfriend, and the two boys land in the slammer. Which is the perfect opportunity for the cops to give Chuck Dan’s belongings (because that’s what happens when you go to jail, you accidentally get someone else’s sh*t when you leave), and Chuck realizes he was a case study. I can’t wait to see where this one goes.

While the supporting storylines of Blair and Chuck are totally giving us the most dramz, the old-people subplots are still somewhat ho-hum. Lily has a big secret, which her new husband, Bart Bass, discovered when he did a PI background check on her. Do I really care? Not really. And Rufus is trying to play the father, but Jenny’s not having it. Meh. I’m over it.

GG did leave us with a nice little quote, which not only applies to the power-struggle between television’s best queen bees, but also says something about the fact that Leighton Meester is currently stealing the show from Blake Lively: the brightest stars are the fastest to fall.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer
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