The time has come for someone to say something. The madness has to stop. What madness am I talking about? Those effing Allstate Commercials. You know, the ones that make you afraid to do anything? The ones that have you scared to even look at your car for fear of instant bad luck or even death? Yeah. Those.
I’m not sure which Allstate bigwig hired Debbie Downer as their ad executive, but whoever decided depressing people into buying insurance was a good idea should be punched in the eye.
Below are a few of the offending commercials we found on YouTube. Not surprisingly, most of the worst ones did not show up. This is probably because Allstate knows they’re being f*cktards.
The "If You Try To Drink Coffee While Driving, You Will Get Into A Serious Accident And Probably Break Your Neck" Allstate commercial
The “If You Don’t Have Accident Forgiveness Your Car Is Most Likely Going To Smash Into A Police Cruiser” Allstate commercial
The "Without Allstate Your New Shiny Car WILL Be Ruined" Allstate commercial
And finally, the worst one of them all, The “Don’t Ever Try To Be Happy Because Everything That Can Go Wrong Will Including Your Wedding Turning Into A FUNERAL” Allstate commercial