Top 5 Hipster Trends To NEVER Rock

At first just an underground scene limited mostly to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, “hipster” is now a term that defines an attitude and a lifestyle that has exploded into mainstream culture. Like most cultural movements, there are definitely several aspects of the hipster look that are okay to adapt (i.e. v-neck t-shirts are flattering on many people). But the following is a list of hipster trends that — like confessing to actually being a hipster — will always be taboo.

1. Fake Eyeglasses

The ultimate in hipsterdom; the concept of non-prescription eye-ware treads that fine line between excess and minimalism that hipsters work so hard to maintain. For $50 at American Apparel, you too can insult people who actually have vision problems! Officially worse than the sunglasses-at-night trend.

2. Neon Skinny Jeans

They make your legs look fat, even if you weigh 80 pounds. And neon colors are flattering on almost no one. You may think you’re being ironic by wearing them, but save the eyesore ensembles for Halloween.

3. Runs In Your Stockings

When it comes to putting an outfit together these days, clashing is in. But one mis-match that’s just inexcusable is the clash between clothes that are not ripped…and clothes that are. That’s right, I’m talking about your stockings. Jeans are one thing, but stockings cost about $2.99 at your local drugstore for a new pair. Ripped pantyhose don’t make you look fashion conscious, but they do make it seem like you were recently unconscious.

4. The Keffiyeh

The keffiyeh is here not because it doesn’t look good, but because as a trend, it’s dangerous. The keffiyeh is a traditional Middle Eastern head garment that, by way of Yassir Arafat, became a popular symbol of Palestinian pride. Somehow it became a trademark of hipsters, too. I’m not making any statement on the Israeli-Palestinian issue here, but you should know that your scarf does. And if you just happened to toss one around your neck for aesthetic purposes and weren’t aware of the keffiyeh’s cultural history, be aware that ignorance is never attractive.

5. Greasy, Unkempt Hair

When your personal hygiene begins to suffer, it’s never a good sign. These are your glory years! At some point later in life, when you have gray hair and wrinkles (not to say gray hair and wrinkles aren’t beautiful), you’ll probably long for the days of full-bodied, youthful hair. Please take care of it while you have it. You can still rock your v-neck shirts and Ray-Bans with a proper coif, trust me.

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