Coca Cola: Thirst Quencher and Sperm Killer

VS.

I have been addicted to Diet Coke for years. I used to start off with a jumbo fountain D.C. on my way to class at 10 AM, followed by another one at lunch and yet another (mixed with rum) for an evening snack. There was nothing on this planet that could come between me and my beloved Diet Coke. In fact, I wasn’t sure there was any way I could love it any more.
But, dear readers, there is: it seems that not only is Diet Coke the tastiest, most delectable treat on this planet….
It is also an effective spermicide!
Oh yeah! You heard me. That stuff you have been drinking by the gallon also happens to be strong enough to kill those little impregnators. Could there be a more perfect beverage? I think not.
Sure, this fact may worry some people (“blah blah how can I put something in my body that is strong enough to kill sperm blah blah blah?), but I couldn’t be happier! Just think of the possibilities:
No need for condoms or birth control when you have a 20 ouncer in the fridge! (Note: not quite sure how one would go about using that 20 ouncer as a contraceptive….) Or better yet, Coca Cola condoms! They taste like Diet Coke (which will make me much more happy to get near ’em) and have the same effectiveness at preventing pregnancy as a can of D.C.!
This changes everything.

Happy Friday!!  Especially To Our Friends Who Are Batsh*t Insane!
Happy Friday!! Especially To Our Friends Who Are Batsh*t Insane!
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