I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.
So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you.
For many, oh so many, reasons (landing strip facial hair being high on the list). This week, instead of painstakingly choosing one slimy aspect to hate about him, the pappara**hole made my life pretty easy. Listen Addy, poor Brit is finally getting back on her feet (and she’s wearing shoes!) It’s more than coincidence that her HOT new song dropped and you magically happen to have a sex tape starring you (ew) and her. Do us all a favor and stop trying to ride the coat-tails of a woman you drove insane.
In Thursday night’s VP debate, Joe Biden clearly came out on top , but Sarah Palin apparently impressed, as her and MCCain’s rating jumped by 33%. I find this odd, considering Palin added a disclaimer before every response she gave, in addition to manipulating the word “rape” so that American’s would subliminally associate it with her opponent. Huh, it’s weird that she’d try to bring up the topic of rape considering her–ahem– controversial opinions about it (just the usual, rape victims should have to pay and use their insurance for rape kits, impregnated victims shouldn’t have the option to abort…you know, every day stuff.)
Premature Holiday Excitement.
Namely, over Halloween. My inbox is full of spam from seasonal costume stores, Walmart looks like The Nightmare Before Christmas vomited all over it, everything in my life smells like pumpkins and cinnamon (okay, so that’s not too bad), and if I see one more decorative bowl full of candy corn I am becoming a Jehovah’s Witness so that I don’t have to celebrate Halloween…which is still 27 days away. Unfortunately, Michelle Allen–otherwise known as the drunken cow-woman– didn’t get the memo about CC’s position on costumes.
Sean “Puffy” Combs.
Because I give up on memorizing his f*cking ridiculous amount of variations on the word “Daddy.” And because of this. And this. Seriously Didster, if you want to use your celebrity in a public forum to voice your opinions on politics, please contribute something relevant, substantial, or at least partially intelligent.
Always an easy target, they really upped the ante this week by putzing around, stalling the passing of a plan that has the potential to keep our economy from going to hell in a handbasket. Particularly those members running for re-election who didn’t pass it because they wanted to play it safe…oh incumbents. Call it a bailout — or, as those who speak Bush say, “rescue plan” (this is our economy we’re talking about, not the latest mission for the freaking Power Rangers)–but it finally did pass on Friday. Unfortunately, it didn’t come soon enough to quell suicide attempts, and probably won’t do anything to resolve the situation foreclosed homeowners find themselves in.
Bar Blocking Idlers.
They clump in large, usually (but not necessarily) Fratty groups, high fiving each other, splicing their profanity with “Dude!”s, and being a general annoyance. This wouldn’t be such a problem if they were not DIRECTLY BLOCKING my path to the bar. Additionally, they all have frosty drinks in hand–drinks that should be in MY hand–to serve as a reminder that I will not be visiting my dear friend the bartender anytime soon. Not to be confused with those creepy guys who lurk by the bar waiting to buy you drinks–lecherous as they are, at least they support my cause…getting sh*tfaced.
Speaking of drinking, I do believe that Happy Hour just may be the best way to soothe my nerves post-rant. But don’t worry, the amount of things that piss me off is infinite, and you can count on a brand new tirade each Sunday. So let’s have it: what realllly pissed you off this week?