The Hills: Drinks Are Never Harmless

Last night’s episode of The Hills was monumental. Huge. The early-20s-drama-rific equivalent to the falling of the Berlin Wall.
(Thanks to Holly’s constant pushing and manipulating) Heidi wrote LC a letter.
I know! Heidi can write?!
Well, sorta. The letter went a little something like this:
Dear Lauren,
I am so, so sorry for everything I ever did, ever. But, PS, you aren’t the only one that is hurting from everything I did, ever. I am upset too.
Love,
Heidi Montag

I have so many questions, so let’s get to them. 1) When someone makes a blanket apology, does it count? 2) What exactly is Heidi including in this apology? That she left her BFF to date a total d-bag? That she turned into a plastic bimbo? That she subjected everyone to her horrible “music”? That she spread rumors about LC’s ladyparts to the entire world? 3) How many Heidi’s do you think there are sending LC apology letters that she has to sign her last name? 4) Did Heidi really write this letter, or was this whole thing crafted by Holly to get Spencer out of the picture and let everyone else live happily ever after?
Speaking of Holly – seriously, when did the girl get trendy? Does anyone else remember what she looked like when we met her, like, 3 episodes ago? And now she’s all doin’ her hair all fancy and wearing sparkly dresses…I don’t care if Heidi took her to get a makeover; no one makes a style turnaround that quickly.
But even though I think she secretly stashed a personal stylist in Speidi’s apartment, I am starting to sorta, well, love Holly Montag. The way she stood up to Spencer at the end of the episode after he got all “I’m gonna eff you up for talking about LC.” (Seriouly, I swear that dude is doing something bad to Heidi…she looked so scared of him.) I would like to think she may be the one to get rid of that turd, even though we all know good and well that he’s still around.
Oh yeah. And other things happened last night, too. Audrina went on a date with “the happiest drunk in the world.” He also looked like he showered (point), only had one name (point) and was really sweet to her (even if it was borderline pathetic, point), yet she couldn’t stop talking about Justin Bobby.
Snoozefest.
Thankfully, they will be spicing things up next week with a little skinny dipping action. Otherwise, I can totes do without Audrina and her weird bands and ridiculous body (that I could never have, even if I paid for it).

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