Everyone was playing games in last night’s Gossip Girl episode, and the ending was juicier than a game-winning three-point shot at the buzzer of the NCAA tournament. I was jumping out of my seat!
Bart and Lily decide to play a little role-playing game and make the Bass-Van der Woodsen clan more akin to the Brady Bunch than the Kardashians. Curfews? Family dinners? You know that’s not going to last long.
Vanessa’s trying to raise some money to save a bar from being demolished, and decides to play the Game of Blair. That is, she threatens to blackmail B with a saucy photo of Duke Marcus and his skanky stepmom (remember them? Has it been so long since they fled already?), which brings me to the first red-hot GG quote of the night:
Blackmailing seems to work for you, so I thought I’d give it a try. Now that we’ve established that I own you, you have 6 hours to get 1,000 signatures.
Oh, Vanessa; you can pass “GO” and collect two million dollars for that move.
In Humphrey news, Dan literally starts playing a new game: soccer. If you missed last night’s episode, you missed Lonely Boy begin his transformation into Jock Boy, the ever-faithful sidekick of sexy Nate Archibald. But yes, Dan made the soccer team, and yes, it gives him more excuses to play with his new mancrush, Nate.
Of course, the best game of the night is Blair’s Cruel Intentions-style bet with Chuck that he can’t seduce Vanessa…and then leave her behind, humiliated, of course. But, of course, if you’ve seen any teen movie involving bets, wagers, and the “cool” guy hanging out with the “loser” girl, you know the outcome. Although, these movies usually involved Freddie Prinze, Jr. and NOT Chuck Bass.
In the meantime, Eric introduces Serena to his new boyfriend (so precious!), and Dan discovers Nate’s secret– that he’s been squatting in his foreclosed apartment, alone. Trying to keep up with his wholesome family image, Bart convinces Eric not to bring his new beau to the Bass-Van der Woodsen housewarming party, while Rufus opens his home to poor, sexy Nate.
If you guessed that Vanessa’s revealed Chuck’s soft spot, you guessed right. Chuck visits the bar she is trying to save and instantly connects with V’s friend Horace. And, because every week, GG culminates in a party that is breeding ground for drama, he invites Vanessa, which gives Blair a chance to steal V’s phone and delete the picture of Marcus and Catherine (remember, this all started with a bit of blackmail).
Blair’s animosity towards Vanessa spikes when she sees Chuck grab her hand. Is this still a bet? I don’t think so. And neither does B, who tries to call off the bet with Chuck and then throws herself at him saying that he’s won, and can collect his prize. Did I mention B put her body on the line here? She seems more than happy to “lose” this one as she waits for Chuck in a sexy red bra-and-panties ensemble.
And as with most CW shows, the last five minutes are the juiciest:
I didn’t think Chuck was going to show. Then he did. Then I thought he would deny Blair right away. Then they started going at it. (Editor’s Note: in a rather porn-ish scene! Daaaayummmm.) Damn, 0-for-2. Then, the line that blew my mind. Coming from Chuck: He asks Blair to say the three words she asked for earlier this season. The three words. The eight letters.
Blair can’t (or won’t) say them either, and Chuck calls her out for wanting to hear them from him. B tries to cover, saying she’ll settle without the words. But the joke’s on Blair now: Chuck’s over her.
I’ve chased you for long enough. Now it’s time for you to chase me.
Game. Set. Match. Chuck Bass, ladies and gentlemen.