Gossip Girl Recap: “I Read About You on Gossip Girl – You’re Like, the Devil”

So, after last week’s steamy, scream-at-the-tv episode, it’s only fair to give the GG writers a break this week. Sure, tonight’s ep was full of underage drinking, fights, and Rufus trying to send Little J to jail, but it wasn’t as nail-biting as some of its predecessors. Of course, this only means that tonight’s episode was a vehicle to set up some MAJOR dramz next week and the week after.
Blair is still hell-bent on going to Yale, even though her little tiff with S. a couple of weeks ago may have maimed her chances. The solution? Serena gets Blair to babysit the Dean’s niece to earn brownie points. Only problem (and who didn’t see this one coming?) is that little Emma is on a mission to lose her virginity.
Gossip Girl put it quite poetically: Lady B…outsoxed by a young fox. Because, of course, if there’s a young, horny virgin on the prowl, she’s bound to get intercepted by the one and only Chuck Bass.
Favorite line of the night, courtesy of Mr. Bass: “The only thing I like aged is my scotch.” LOVE it.
However, Mr. Bass laments to Blair that he holds very few things sacred, and one of those things is humping in the back of a limo. How sweet, in a pervy Chuck Bass kind of way. Needless to say, the jailbait bounced and hit up a club in search of Mr. Right Now.
Meanwhile, Little J. is planning her big, risque fashion debut… at a charity gala being thrown in honor of Lily and Bart. Like that doesn’t have “disaster” written all over it. She pulls the “Do you care about me?” card with Nate…isn’t it a little early to try to whip your new boy toy, Little J.? Nonetheless, Nate takes the bait and the next thing we know, GG is loading Jenny and Nate’s second kiss into an RSS feed.
Gossip Girl actually played quite the role in tonight’s episode – as everyone was running around trying to figure out who was where (and with whom), they all kept going back to GG, and finally, Chuck managed to lure Emma (the young virgin) back to Blair by getting GG to post some fake story about Emma’s rival, Muffy. If you’re lost here, don’t worry. It was all just some filler material, though it did raise the question of how the hell Chuck can pull even the mysterious Gossip Girl’s strings.
My favorite part of the night? Blair tries to have a heart-to-heart with Emma about how her first time should be special, and finally mutters the L-word, in reference to Chuck. I squealed a bit here, though I don’t know if I believe that Blair knew she loved C-Bass during the limo trysts. Oh well, B. Saying it once opens the flood gates for more confessions in the future.
BTW, Blair got some juice on Emma’s mom, but decided not to blackmail her, and karma came back around: it looks like B’s going to Yale after all. Jenny’s fashion show was a success, though Rufus tried to get her arrested for her shenanigans, which prompted Jenny to flee (and it looks like she’ll be getting in way too deep in the coming weeks); Dan kicked Nate out of the house; Vanessa threw a temper tantrum over Jenny and Nate; Jenny dumped Nate out of respect for V (though she promptly bounced anyway); and Aaron the art dude may or may not have a harem of girlfriends. We’ll find out when he takes S to dinner next week.
What to look for next week: Dan finally grows some balls (or thinks he does), and it looks like his Chuck Bass story is going to press…which can’t be good for anyone on the Upper East Side.

The Hills: TEQUILA!!
The Hills: TEQUILA!!
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