[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.
So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone – we’ve all been there before.]
The Phone in the Toilet:
You put on your cutest (and tightest) jeans for the partayyy. When you arrive at the house, you drop your jacket in your friend’s room, take a few shots and head out to the living room to mingle. Your best friend is coming late/the boy you want always texts you late-night, so you keep your phone on vibrate in your back pocket so you can feel it when it rings.
You take more shots. And more. And drink a lot of beer. You laugh, you party, you begin to feel really drunk.
And, OMG, you have to pee so badly.
You head upstairs to use the bathroom; it’s gotta be cleaner than the one on the main floor, not to mention the line is probably shorter. Ugh – it’s not. You pull your phone out of your pocket in hopes that your boy-toy has sent you a “where you at?” text message, then shove the phone back into your pocket when the door opens and two people (looking particularly happy) walk out.
You run into the bathroom, lock the door, and stumble as you attempt to pull your jeans down. Just before you get them below your knees you hear a plunk and, HolySh*tNoEffingWayOhMyGodOhMyGod, your phone is in the toilet.
You spin around and see your brand new Blackberry sinking to the bottom of the bowl. On the one hand you are happy – the bowl was empty. On the other, however, your brand new freaking Blackberry is in the toilet. And you won’t be able to get any texts from the boy!
You start to freak out. Then you realize you are standing there with your pants around your ankles, your phone in the toilet and your bladder full of beer. What do you do first? Pull up your pants? Grab the phone?
“Focus,” you tell yourself. You pull up your pants and reach into the toilet to grab your phone. Unsure what to do, you grab a giant wad of toilet paper and begin blotting the phone. You try to turn it on; it makes a really weird noise.
You continue to freak out.
At this point the line for the bathroom has gotten longer and the line dwellers angrily knock on the door. You grab some more TP, try to compose yourself and decide to find someone who can help (which is difficult since you can’t call anyone).
It isn’t until after you leave the bathroom and the next person runs in that you realize you still really have to pee.
If you are lucky, your phone is not completely screwed. If you are completely screwed, just imagine trying to explain it to your parents when you ask them for a new one.