Gossip Girl Recap: I wanted a Harry Winston choker…instead, I got a conscience

Prominent themes in tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl included “Change of Heart,” “Tumultuous Backstories,” and “Going on Day-Dates in Lingerie.” Damn, I love this show.

Where shall I begin? Let’s start with the bad and work our way up to the “OMG!” Little J and Agnes had a change of heart, which prompted a fight, an attempted betrayal, and a nutso Agnes lighting the J. Humphrey Designs dresses on fire in an alley. Hey, at least Agnes admitted to being crazy.

Meanwhile, (perhaps the biggest 180 of them all) former ice crotch Eleanor Waldorf falling in love (gasp!) with Cyrus, played by Wallace Shawn, a funny looking little man you may recognize from Sex in the City, Clueless or The Princess Bride. Anyway, of course Blair is not pleased, and sets out to destroy the budding romance.

However, when Cy’s Notebook-esque tale of true love comes out, B. seems to have a change of heart. For half a second. It’s her birthday, and she’ll make her mom cry if she wants to. Just after Eleanor gives Cyrus the boot, Cyndi Lauper enters (yeah, you read right), and tells Blair that her friend Cyrus asked her to perform for her bday bash. Awwww, how sweet. Cue B’s second change of heart for the evening.

Meanwhile, Dan is digging up dirt on the Bass family for his book (something Rufus disagrees with- come on, Rufus, I know you have a conscience, but seriously- this is your kid’s big break), and discovers Bart’s shocking tale of arsony that was swept under the rug just as the Bass empire blossomed.

Not surprising: Dan doesn’t go through with the book, and turns in the manuscript to Bart.

Surprising: Bart reads it, and realizes he’s alienated Chuck all of his life, and has a father-son bonding moment.

Most surprising: the conniving Bass men decide to go to a hockey game together. Yay for family fun day!

Of course, we can’t forget about Serena and her new potential mate, Aaron. They have the cliche artistic shoot make-out session, which is interrupted by one of Aaron’s other “muses.” Serena later crashes one of Aaron’s dates, and chews him out for not being monogamous, though she really had no claim over him to begin with.

Undaunted, Aaron shows up at Serena’s the next day to take her to the puppet theatre in Central Park (the Swedish Cottage Marionette theatre, which is currently showing Peter Pan if anyone wants to have a Gossip-Girl-inspired day date), and Serena is not only swept off her feet (yet again), but decides that pants are unnecessary, and heads out to the cottage in her silk nightie (for the love, Serena, the puppet theatre is family friendly!).

Tonight, it seemed as though all of our favorite GG villains showed a little piece of their heart. How precious. In order to counterbalance, however, the episode left off with Little J. deciding to divorce her parents. We can’t all have happy families, can we?

(Note to Jenny: maybe you should call Nathan Scott for emancipation tips, and ask him how difficult it is to pay your own rent when you’re still in high school.)

Overall, tonight’s ep wasn’t necessarily the most dramatic, but it was still pretty juicy… and next week, we’ll truly count our blessings when GG premieres its annual Thanksgiving episode. Can I drizzle gravy on Chace Crawford?

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