We’ve All Been There: The Awkward Call from Grandma

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone – we’ve all been there before.]

The Awkward Call:

You wake up to the sunlight shining into your eyes. You open them and – whoa – the killer hangover sets in. Headache, nausea and a mouth filled with cotton. And then you roll over to find a man lying next to you.

And the entire evening comes flooding back: the drinks, the sloppy make out sesh in the kitchen of the bar, the striptease in the cab.

You lift the covers; yup, completely naked. Your bedmate stirs, opens his eyes and smiles at you. “Phew,” you think to yourself. “He’s pretty cute.” You begin the usual morning-after conversation – hangovers, “what the hell did I drink last night”s, and other niceties – before he starts rubbing your back.

You know where this is leading, but before things start heading there you need to brush that so-drunk-I-smoked- a-cigarette taste out of your mouth.

And then the phone rings. Your rifle through the pile of jeans and underwear on the floor and flip it open before you realize who it is: your grandma.

“Good morning honey! How are you?” Oh. My. God.

“How was your night last night? Are you in the library? Why are you whispering? How is all that studying coming along? What are you doing? Are you making me proud, you big college student?”

OhMyGodThisIsSoAwkward.

“Hi grandma,” you respond, sinking back into the bed.

You realize the severity of the situation – random dude next to you…naked…and your freaking grandma on the phone – but what are you supposed to do? You can’t hang up on grandma.

“Yeah, things are good… Yeah, I am studying…. No, I stayed in last night and caught up on my reading…Yeah, I know; school is really important.”

Eventually, after your grandpa and aunt have chimed in to say hello, you convince dear grandma that you must get back to the books (or that boy in the buff next to you) and end the most awkward conversation of all time. But the moment is lost. There is no way on earth you can do the naughty now.

Yeah, we’ve been there…and it sucks.

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