GG Mid-Season Recap (You Know, So We Don’t Go Through Withdrawals)

Did anyone else feel like their world turned upside-down last night, what with NO GOSSIP GIRL ep on the CW? I personally didn’t know what to do with myself, so I worked off my weekly-dose-of-Chace-Crawford- cravings on the elliptical for an hour. Maybe when the season ends, I too can have a Blake Lively body. Yeah right.
Since, sadly, there was no new episode to recap last night, I thought I’d do a brief refresher on what has unraveled so far this season. Feel free to post your fave GG moments of the year below, since there is simply too much for me to fit into one little post!
Nate Archibald
Early season partner: Catherine, the married cougar who turned out to be a Duchess. Nate walked the fine line between “partner” and “prostitute” with Catherine, after Catherine paid off some of Nate’s family’s debt in order to keep her sexy young stallion around.
Mid-season partner: Well… early-mid-season, Nate had a mini-fling with Vanessa, until Catherine scared V off. Then there was the hot Yale girl, who Nate posed as none other than Dan Humphrey for, in order to get into her lofted bed.
Current partner: After Nate kissed Jenny, the internet was ablaze with fans who couldn’t believe the plot twist, due to the real-life age difference between Chace Crawford and baby Taylor Momsen. Nate later bounced, but Jenny still appears to have his heart.
Season Shocker: After Daddy Archibald tries to get Nate to flee to the Dominican Republic, Nate convinces his felon-father to turn himself into the FBI. (And his dad’s tragic mini mustache.)
Blair Waldorf
Early season partner: Marcus, the seemingly boring dude who turned out to be royalty…and Catherine’s stepson…and Catherine’s other lover.
Mid-season partner: B. and Chuck have been playing some of the steamiest love scenes on primetime TV, but they’re currently trying to stay cooled off.
Season shocker: Blair being nice to Jenny on Thanksgiving, after trying ruthlessly to destroy Little J’s budding fashion career as Mrs. Waldorf’s apprentice (ironically, Little J. ended that gig on her own accord).
Serena Van der Woodsen
Early season partner: Nobody. Then Dan again. Then nobody again. Then some loser dude for five minutes, in order to make Danny jeaous. Then nobody again.
Current partner: Aaron, the polygamous art-dude who is willing to try monogamy (and sobriety) with the lovely Miss S.
Season shocker: Serena’s brief stint as the bitchy Queen Bee she used to be.
Chuck Bass
Early season partner: A myriad of nameless women.
Mid-season partner: After a flicker of interest in Vanessa, Chuck must have gotten blue balls from the frequently panty-clad, in-heat Blair Waldorf. But it was his idea for he and B. not to go to the next level.
Season shocker: There are so many to choose from! This has totally been Chuck’s season. I think my favorite woah moment from CB has to be when he told Blair, “I’ve chased you long enough. Now it’s your turn to chase me.” That was so hot.
Jenny Humphrey
Early season partner: Eleanor Waldorf’s design shop. Jenny was pretty much married to it.
Mid-season partner: Model Agnes was lined up to be J’s business partner…until she went crazy and burned Jenny’s dresses on the street. Whoops.
Current partner: Nate, though she doesn’t know it. After telling Vanessa she doesn’t want a guy to come in between their friendship, V stole the love letter Nate wrote to poor, innocent Jenny.
Season shocker: The head-to-toe punk-chic makeover that happened overnight.
Dan Humphrey:
Early season partner: Nobody. Then Serena. Then nobody.
Mid-season partner: There was that bookworm chick that was one of Chuck’s pawn. I don’t even remember what happened with that… mostly because I tend to forget every Dan Humphrey plot line.
Season shocker: Dan opening his mouth and saying something to accidentally get someone else into hot water. Oh wait. That’s expected.
Vanessa Abrams (Yes, she has a last name!)
Early season partner: Nate. Until Catherine blackmailed her to stay away.
Mid-season partner: Sparks seemed to fly between V. and Chuck. Until Blair doused that flame.
Current partner: Nobody. Poor Vanessa. The more she cares for Nate, the more fate prevents her from ever being with him.
Season shocker: Vanessa trying to join the Blackmail Express to get Catherine out of Nate’s life. Of course, Blair is the queen of vengeance, and poor V didn’t quite profit from her attempt at being evil.
The Old People:
Lily and Bart are still together, but after discovering that Bart has files on not only herself, but her kids as well, Lily was last seen crashing Rufus Humphrey’s meager Thanksgiving shindig.
Though he appears to be a master of the espionage, Bart did have a moment of decency after reading Dan’s manuscript, which outlined his strained relationship with Chuck. Will the two develop a real father-son relationship by the end of the season?
Of course, the real geriatric shocker is that Ice Crotch Eleanor Waldorf is engaged to a silly little man with a heart of gold… who also happens to be Aaron-the-Polygamist’s father.
Well, folks, that’s my mid-season wrap up. Throw in some catfights, spilled cocktails, and scantily clad teenagers, and it’s like you didn’t even miss an episode. See you next week as we welcome back our favorite private school heathens!

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