We’ve All Been There: Dressing Room Aerobics

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone – we’ve all been there before.]
You walk into the fancy department store at the mall, and, like a moth to a flame, you are immediately attracted to the jeans section. So many designers. So many colors. So many choices. Yaaaay!
You move around the section with a goal in mind: going-out jeans. “You came for one pair,” you think to yourself. “ONE PAIR.”
But that doesn’t mean you can’t take 27 pairs into the dressing room. Come on! They all fit differently and you don’t know exactly what look you want to take home. Skinnies? Wide leg? Black? Super dark? To wear with flats, or to sport with heels?
By the time you make it to your dressing room (which seems extremely small when filled with 40 pairs of jeans…and a few shirts you found along the way) you are sweating. You begin to strip off that baggy mess of a pair you reserve for Saturdays and start attacking the pile o’ denim in the corner.
The first few pairs are “Eh,” but you keep trucking. You were saving your favorites for later anyway. You finally get to that oh-so-hot pair of super tight and super sexy dark skinnies. You know these would turn heads and you have been eyeing them for months. You want em, you want em, you want em!!
You put one leg in. Then the other. You pull them up. They stop.
You grab onto the belt loops and keep pulling.
“They are supposed to be snug!” you tell your reflection in the mirror. You begin jumping around the dressing room, fingers in belt loops, attempting to get these jeans over your ass. As you break your second sweat of the day, the dressing room attendant knocks on the door.
“Everything ok? Can I get you another size in anything?”
“No, <heavy breathing> I am doin’ ok!” As she walks away you successfully button the jeans. You can’t breathe, but damn your ass looks good. And the jeans are gonna stretch out anyway – they always do.
So you help them along a little bit. You put one leg up on the dressing room bench and begin stretching. You start doing lunges, Downward Dogs, and squats on the floor. You sit down, stand up, sit down again.
When you are finally done with the dressing room aerobics you are glistening with sweat, tired, in need of serious sugar, and sporting a nice red ring around your waist… but fitting into those hot new jeans.
“They are perfect,” you tell yourself as you peel them off so you can go buy them, leaving that giant mess of a dressing room for someone else to clean up.
Don’t worry; the girl in the dressing room next to you (and in dressing rooms across the country) have been there, too. You are not alone.

Candy Dish: The Spawn of Satan Weds Barbie
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