Awkward Moment: Buying a Pregnancy Test

 For the past few weeks I have been freaking out about the fact that I might be pregnant. My period has always been irregular and I go months without it quite often, but for some reason I couldn’t shake the idea that I might soon be sharing my apartment with a 6th roommate….and binkies and bottles.

I knew deep down that there was no possible way there was a baby in by belly (I use multiple forms of birth control), but whenever I would feel a pain in my stomach, or have the urge to dip things in frosting, I let my paranoia get the best of me. I would go to CVS to buy a pregnancy test, but every time I walked into the store I would freak out at the prospect of a little blue plus sign showing up and walk out empty handed.

It just seemed easier not to know for sure and let the irrational thoughts pass.

Until I had yet another odd stomachache. Sure, it could have been caused by the large amount of candy I ate for dinner, but I finally mustered up the courage to find out the truth.

I waited until 10pm – I thought the store would be less crowded…and I wanted to watch my shows – and talked to myself the entire way there. “You can do this. You will be fine. You are not preggers. You just ate too much candy corn.” Nothing helped.

I picked up a Diet Coke and chugged it as I scoured the aisles for the pregnancy tests. The artificial sweetness calmed my frazzled nerves, and the 20 ounces of liquid prepared my bladder for the big task. I finally found them… right next to the “Female Cleansers.” I prayed not to run into anyone I knew; I didn’t want people to think I needed to buy douche!

But that was the least of my problems – pregnancy tests are expensive! I was left with a decision: buy the name brand for $15, or the CVS brand for $8. Was this the right time to be bargain hunting? At the same time, though, I’m a poor college student! I spent 15 minutes comparing the boxes, which is a long time when you have 20 ounces of Diet Coke in your bladder and a potential bun in the oven.

I ultimately went the cheap route (what can I say? I’m frugal), and took my purchase to the front counter. And this is when things got really awkward. There was quite a long line for 10:30 pm at CVS. Luckily, I didn’t see anyone I knew, but I did notice the strange look the CVS employee gave me as he rang me up. Well, attempted to ring me up. Turns out the box I chose was damaged and he had to call for a price check. Yes, a price check. On the loud speaker. So everyone in line could hear.

“Price check on the CVS home pregnancy test!” Everyone stared at me. A stock boy came quickly with a new, undamaged box, but it was too late; everyone already knew that I was damaged goods with a damaged box.

Hands shaking, I whipped a $20 out of my bag, threw it on the counter, and ran out of the store before I could even get my change. So much for the bargain. I saw a few friends walking in as I ran by and thanked god they hadn’t been there 1 minute earlier. When I finally made it home, I didn’t have the opportunity to second guess the test; I almost peed my pants. I opened the box, unwrapped the little stick and got a nice fat minus sign.

Clearly, it was a giant relief, although I am still plagued with the task of finding a new CVS to shop at…

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