An Open Letter to the Noisy Frat Next-door

To My Lovely Neighbors (aka the frat next-door):

Y’all are great neighbors, you really are. I enjoy your Solo-cup adorned front lawn. I love your broken air conditioner sitting out back. I enjoy your creative use of Keystones as decorations. But we really must talk about your noise levels.

Now, I’m a college kid too and I also quite enjoy partying from time to time. Thursday night? Yes. Friday night? Sure. Saturday night? Count me in. Monday night at 4am? Not so much.

You guys seem to want to party at all hours, everyday. I might be OK with that if there weren’t all those other problems. I mean, you guys are loud all. the. time. Like that weekend you had music blasting for 72 hours in a row – I’m pretty positive you just let your speakers run for 3 days straight. 3am Wednesday night listening to The Beach Boys? I don’t think you’re having a rager… And, umm, it’s about negative 6 degrees out…do you really find The Beach Boys appropriate?

And what are you thinking playing “Let’s Get It On” at a speaker-breaking volume level? I don’t think any of you are actually getting it on. In fact, I’m pretty sure this would send any girl running, even a highly intoxicated one. So why oh why must the music be on? Doesn’t it annoy you?

I know it annoys me. I also know I have a test in the morning.

And on another note, it’s great that you are so, umm, invested in your brotherhood that you haze until the wee hours of the morning. But when I’m trying to sleep I don’t want to hear your pledges yelling: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” I don’t want to get used to it. I want to sleep. My window is closed, my head is buried under a pillow and I can still hear your pledges crying.

Please, I beg of you dear neighbors, calm down a little bit. Maybe bring your volume down to like a 2? Or a 4? I’d even take a volume level of 5.6. Please my fratty friends, help me get a complete night of sleep, and maybe you can get some rest too! Win-win situation!

Love,

Sleepless in Syracuse

The City: Happy New Year!
The City: Happy New Year!
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