We’ve got our wine, we’ve got our cupcakes and we’re ready for the Oscars! Well, the pre-show, that is. The Red Carpet is everyone’s favorite part of awards season, and the Academy Awards red carpet is the cream of the crop. Sure, we’re geeked to see who wins the big awards, but we’re girls and we’re more excited to see who takes the biggest fashion risks.
We’ll be watching the pre-show on E!, so join us for our Oscar party. Dish on your favorites and not-so favorites in the comments section below.
6:00 PM: God, I wish Ryan Seacrest was a little taller. He looks goooood.
6:02 PM: Juliana could really use a sandwich. She looks like a hanger with a dress on it.
6:03 PM: NICOLE RICHIE IS PREGGERS AGAIN? And, PS, Miley looks like a cupcake with sequins on it. Barf. Was she nominated for an Oscar? Do they have a new category for “Annoying-Yet-Embarassingly-Addictive Songstress”?
6:07 PM: 5 Dollar Foot Loooooong. Sorry, love the new Subway jingle…and now I’m hungry for a sub.
6:08 PM: Who decides who gets invited to this gig? And why on earth would they invite Miley? She really just doesn’t belong.
6:11 PM: Jay Manuel = troll with a haircut. What is with the hair, buddy?
6:16 PM: I’m not sure if we all see the same commercials, but the new Maybelline Lash Stiletto commercial just came on for me and I just have to wonder how many different kinds of mascara one company can make. I can’t keep up!
6:18 PM: Hugh Jackman. Mmmmm. The accent is delicious, but I could watch this man on mute for 5 hours and be totally content. And turned on.
6:22 PM: OMG HERE COMES DEV PATEL. He looks so cute in a tux.
6:28 PM: Mickey Rourke or Sean Penn? I prefer Sean, but I kinda wanna see Mickey thank his recently-deceased puppy in some satin leisure suit. What a hot mess.
6:30 PM: Hellooooo Zak Efron. Someone needs a haircut. He actually looks un-hot right now. Yeah, I said it.
6:32 PM: Vanessa Hudgens looks like she had an unfortunate bra stuffing incident. Those tissues are supposed to be IN the dress, Vanessa!
Don’t forget to vote for your pick for Best Picture on CC’s main page!
6:37 PM: What is the Oscar secret? I’m so nervous!! Wait…that’s it? Old Oscar winners are gonna be standing around handing out an Oscar? That’s it!? What about Hugh without a shirt? Or pants? Or an award being read by Angelina and Jen?! This is more disappointing than that time I went to that frat party and it was dry. DRY.
6:44 PM: OMG how cute are the Slumdog kids? I wanna pull an Angie and take em all home.
6:46 PM: Did Juliana just call the kids “delicious”? They are children, not main courses.
6:48 PM: Melissa Leo – Don’t know who she is, but her dress reminds me of the bathroom stall at a bar that I refuse to go into, if you know what I’m sayin…
6:50 PM: Taraji Henson looks gorgeous, but Jay Manuel’s glam-cam with the blue squiggles is killing me. This is not a football replay.
6:51 PM: Frieda Pinto is one of those girls that you want to hate because she’s so damn gorgeous, but she’s also nice and humble and so adorable too! I just. can’t. hate her. And it’s killing me. She and Dev need to get married.
6:58 PM: Dev Patel is funny, too? OMG sign me up! I’m so smitten, it hurts.
7:00 PM: It’s hard for Heidi Klum not to be beautiful, but I’m not loving her hair. It looks like she just sorta jumped out of the shower and hit the red carpet. After putting on a gorgeous red dress, of course.
7:02 PM: Did Taraji Henson just show the world her Spanx? AMAZING.
7:04 PM: Amanda Seyfried: Miss (I wore a similar dress to my Bat Mizvah…in the 90’s). Amy Adams: Miss (and is she hiding a pregnant belly?). No one can rock the red quite like Heidi Klum. Even if she had to sit on one butt cheek all night. And is rockin’ more ice than Lil Wayne.
7:11 PM: Mickey Rourke makes it to the red carpet…and smokes a cigarette.
7:12 PM: SJP just hit the red carpet. Let’s hope her boobs don’t (literally).
7:13 PM: Is it just me, or is it weird to see “Tropic Thunder” people at the Oscars? Really? Tropic Thunder?
7:14 PM: Did Melissa George forget the dress that goes over that slip?
7:16 PM: I’m gonna say it: Robert Pattinson is not that hot. (Note: please don’t come hunt me down and kill me.) James Franco, though. One word. One letter, actually: mmmmm.
7:19 PM: Marisa Tomei looks like a piece of origami. I would be afraid to get near that dress; papercuts are a bitch.
7:25 PM: Anne Hathaway is beautiful, but wear some color, woman! When you are that pasty, you can’t wear muted tones.
7:27 PM: Sophia Loren. WHOA fake tan/ plastic surgery/ruffles. And Beyonce? I think my grandma has a couch that matches that dress.
7:28 PM: Why does Mickey Rourke always put his hand down his pants? That may be appropriate for watching football on the couch, but not the freaking OSCARS.
7:30 PM: Diane Lane is giving Josh Brolin the eyes. She’s totally gonna try to do him in the bathroom at the Oscars.
7:32 PM: Jessica Biel definitely just had a quickie with Justin in the limo…and didn’t have time to fix her hair.
7:35 PM: I’m getting bored with this broadcast. Jay and Juliana keep swooning over everyone’s dresses. Where is the drama? Where is the sh*t talking? I want to hear the sh*t! Stop kissing ass and tell us that Anne Hathaway’s/Amanda Seyfried’s dress is ugly.
7:37 PM: I just heard screaming. Are Brad and Angie here?
7:38 PM: Brangelina arrives. And I don’t know which one I want to eff more. That’s normal, right? RIGHT?!
From an IM convo with another CC Writer:
Me: seriously, its unreal how beautiful she is
Me: i dont get it
Me: why dont i look like that
Me: Eff her
CC Writer: octomom does
CC Write: you can too, if you want.
7:42 PM: Why is Phillip Seymour Hoffman wearing a knit ski cap? Don’t you think tonight is a good time to wash the hair? Oh wait… distracted. Bond arrived.
7:44 PM: Penelope Cruz looks gorgeous. OMG.
7:51 PM: Don’t you just want to be BFF with Kate Winslet (and, yes, it’s ok if your sole motivation is to get closer to Leo)? She’s just so sweet and so un-Hollywood. Not to mention the fact that I’ve seen her naked boobs more times than any of my real BFFs.
7:58 PM: Why do Brad and Angie constantly blow off Ryan Seacrest? I’m so sick of their “holier than thou” bullsh*t. Even though they are the hottest couple of all time.
8:00 PM: Time for the big show (and some pizza!! woooo). We’ll be back tomorrow to review all the big winners. And bitch about Brad and Angie avoiding us again. We make you famous, Brangelina! TALK TO US.
Oh and where are Jen and John? Hmmm…