Throw a (Sham)Rockin’ St Patty’s Day Party

New Year’s is long gone.  The singles just finished drowning their emotions in V-day bar specials.  What do we celebrate next? Ahh… St. Patrick’s Day.  The most nationalistic holiday that still manages to include people of every gender, race, culture, and alcohol tolerance.

St. Pat’s is the holiday that has never been sugar-coated with false meaning or wholly commercialized by Hallmark (sure greeting cards exist, but who really gives them?).  So make sure you embrace your inner Irish and do it up right on March 17.

1.  The Booze.

To throw a full-on Irish bash, you have to have an appropriate alcohol selection.  Well, what do you know? GoIreland.com happens to have a handy list of the most popular libations of the Emerald Isle, in case you’ve never heard of Jameson or Guinness.

Make sure you bar is stocked with whiskey, irish cream, and the beer they call “a meal in a can,” but don’t neglect some other favorites.  Other popular beers include Murphy’s Stout, Kilkenny, and Smithwick’s.  Cider is also a favorite.  If you’re a perfectionist, you might try to get your hands on some Meade or Poitín.

But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  We are college students after all – mix up some Green Appletinis and make a few trays of lime Jell-O shots, and you won’t hear any complaints.  Really want some green magic to happen? Try to get your hands on the ultimate green liquor, absinthe, and let the green fairy fly.

2.  The Music.

Dropkick Murphy’s are always a good choice.  U2, the Cranberries, Flogging Molly, or Thin Lizzy will also get people into the Irish spirit.  Once the Jameson lowers your guests’ inhibitions, you may want to throw on some Irish Step tunes and see who clears enough space to perform what they call a “Riverdance” routine.

Oh, but don’t neglect the ever-popular Irish drinking songs.  CelticMP3s.com offers a variety of websites and downloads to browse, but you can also order The Holy Grail of Irish Drinking Songs from Amazon.  Or, ya know, just search for “Finnegan’s Wake” on iTunes.

3.  The Food

Corned beef and cabbage or baked potatoes! On second thought… maybe take the Americanized St. Pat’s route here and put out chips with guacamole and green cupcakes or something.

4.  The Games

Make up silly drunken limericks.  Place everyone’s name in a hat, and pass it around.  Make everyone try to make a limerick out of the name of the person whose name they chose.  It might be hard for names like Elizabeth, but anyone who’s seen a particular Seinfeld ep will be oh-so-glad they invited Dolores to the party.

If you can’t get everyone to focus long enough to be creative and rhyme stuff, play Irish Quarters. Basically, you spin a quarter and then chug beer until the quarter stops.  There are no winners in this game. And we all lose the next morning.

For all the heavyweights in the room, take the Irish Roulette challenge. Everyone lines up a shot and rolls a dice.  The lowest number drinks.  In the event of a “tie,” it’s a social. Be careful with this one, friends.

5.  The Decorations

Um, are you kidding me? Green everywhere.  Shamrocks too, and maybe a pot of gold if you really want to go all out.

Be creative this St. Patrick’s Day.  Think of all the festive ways you can celebrate, because after this holiday, what do we have? Easter? That’s the last holiday to succumb to serving as an excuse for collegiate binge-drinking.  Besides, it’s the only day of the year you can use the pick-up lines, “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” (whether you really are, of course is a different story), “Show me your shamrocks!” or, “Hey, are you a leprechaun? Because you make me want to get lucky.” Okay, no, maybe not.

But seriously folks, do stay safe on this holiday, as with every other.

The Irish have a saying: An Irish man is never drunk, as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass and fall off the face of the earth.

I don’t care if you just flew in from Dublin.  Your tolerance is NOT that high.

Oh the People You’ll Meet: The Unhinged Coed
Oh the People You’ll Meet: The Unhinged Coed
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