Feeling Down? New Boobs Will Perk You Up!

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300_80091.jpgEver have one of those weeks, where it just feels like nothing is going right? No money, no job, no plans for the weekend. I can tell you first hand, it sucks. We all get down once in a while and let’s be honest here – this economy isn’t helping anyone’s mood. Sometimes we just want something, anything to make us feel better. Unfortunately, chocolate’s not cutting it, and either is sitting home watching that America’s Next Top Model marathon on the couch. So what’s a broke college kid to do?

How ’bout some new boobs?

Yeah, you heard me right – a new rack could be your solution to the no-money blues. The Sun is reporting that breast augmentation is the latest trend among the jobless. Because spending $10,000 is a great idea when you don’t have an income. The idea is that any advantage on a job interview is a good one, especially when it involves first appearances.

That’s where I get a little lost though; why would a bigger chest signify a more qualified employee?  I understand ironing your shirt or shining your shoes, but implants? Really? Major invasive cosmetic surgery is really the route you want to go to give yourself that little something extra on an interview? Color me confused, because unless you are being interviewed to become the next Playboy centerfold, I really don’t think double Ds are going to help.

I mean, I knew the job market was competitive in these trying times, but I didn’t know it was wet-t-shirt-contest competitive. Does this mean that my college education is worthless and I should have just spent my tuition on a new rack?

I think I might be depressed all over again. But believe me, I won’t be heading to my local plastic surgeon. I think I’ll just add something flashy (glitter?) to my resume.

And eat some more chocolate.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer