Sexy Time: A** from Afar



Let’s be honest – we all like to get some on a fairly regular basis. But what’s a girl to do when the one she wants it from is a little too far away? It’s not like you can call up a guy who lives four hours away, tell him you’re horny, and expect him to deliver. You can bet that you probably would have taken care of it before he even got on the freeway. Thus, I decided to compile a little list of quirky ways to tide you and your guy over until you see each other in the flesh.

Phone Sex: This is the classic way to get your jollies when away from your lover. The upside? Feeling a little more desirable than just flying solo. The downside? Having friends and/or hear your various noises permeate through the walls. Could provide for a veryyy awkward conversation soon after.

Webcam Fun: With the invention of iChat and Skype, face-to-face action is becoming more popular than ever. However, be sure that if you do decide to have your own little “digital get down” that you lock your door. I can tell you (sadly, from personal experience), it is quite embarrassing to have your friend walk in on you half naked playing online strip chess with your boyfriend. Whoooppss.

Internet-Enabled Vibrators: Now I’m not sure if I would go so far to use this puppy, but it’s an interesting invention none the less. Connect the Doc Johnson High Joy Internet Enabled Rabbit Vibrator  (phew, that’s a mouthful…that’s what she said!) to your computer and get ready for a good time. It connects through, which also happens to be an internet dating site. Not only can it connect it you to your Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now, but you can also program it to go along with your favorite pornos. You got it: this Rabbit can simulate the sensations that you would be feeling if you were in the movie itself. I’m starting to wonder if there’s really anything it can’t do….or if I need this long distance boyfriend afterall.

Text Sex: I am embarrassed to admit it, but I was a serial text-sexer for quite some time. And although it isn’t the most satisfying of communication mediums, it’s still a good way to keep the sparks flying without completely humiliating yourself. This holds especially true if you tend to be on the more modest side. I don’t know about you, but I get a little creeped out at the thought of somebody listening to my heavy breathing on the other end of the phone line or watching me disrobe on a computer screen. Texting allows me to get a little naughty without leaving my comfort zone. Just please don’t attempt this one if you don’t have an unlimited texting plan. I really doubt you want to explain to your Dad why you have 100 outgoing text messages at 3:16 AM…

How do you cope with a long-distance lover? Let me know!