G.W.W.E.: Clive “Cut Me” Owen

We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff), so let us take a moment to praise the infinitely talented and infinitely effable Clive Owen !

I could not be more excited for today’s release of spy-thriller Duplicity, not only because it marks the return of my girl crush Julia Roberts , but for the always-delicious Clive Owen. Yum, yum, yum!

First of all, our boy has two automatically-effable traits: green eyes and a British accent. Green-eyed men are so hard to come by, and that polished Queen’s English he speaks could enchant me even if he was talking about lint filters. Stick the man in a suit, like the one he wears in the Duplicity trailer, and he is outrageously delectable. Some even say he’s the next Cary Grant.

Furthermore, Clive is a versatile actor whose every role appeals to a different type of effability. His rugged portrayal of Dwight in Sin City showcased Clive as a brutal, aggressive gangster. In Children of Men, he is the heroic everyman entrusted with saving the life of the last pregnant woman on earth in the midst of a sociological apocalypse. In Closer (my personal favorite), he plays the animalistic dermatologist Larry, whose pornographic imagination gets him into all sorts of trouble. I can’t even watch Closer with my friends, because Clive’s lust-driven character is too hot to handle.

When he’s not a Golden Globe-winning actor, Clive is a huge soccer fan and passionate supporter of Liverpool F.C. (and allegedly skipped his own premeire to catch a game on television!) He is a family man who likes to spend his time with his wife, Sarah Jane, and their two daughters. While some might say Clive’s attractiveness wanes in light of the fact that he’s off the market, I believe it makes him all the more effable. After all those hours spent portraying sexually-charged supervillains and superheroes, it’s nice to know he can still come home at night and be a normal father and husband. Effing perfection, is he not?

We’ll Show You Who’s Funny
We’ll Show You Who’s Funny
  • 10614935101348454