Overheard: Nothing Lewd About It

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[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Heard from physics students walking behind me.)
Guy 1: So the senior design engineer says, hey, that’s a mismatched transistor! The deficient fusion constants differed from the manufacturing!
(General laughter.)
Guy 2: Oh, naw, man, you told it wrong. You messed it up.

(From a reader: Two girls, talking earnestly in a shopping center.)
Girl 1: Yeah, I know, that’s like… the worst fish to be, if you were a fish.
Girl 2: Yeah, like I would never want to be that fish. Literally.

(Two guys on a bench.)
Guy 1: You can’t just push people over because they’re poor!
Guy 2: Why not? I think that’s a great reason!

(Guy, enthusiastically dancing.)
Guy: Wow! We save so much time by droppin’ G’s!

(Students arguing before a class.)
Girl: I mean… you can’t ignore it, Mark Hamill was the most important culture figure of the 1970s. He was like the president of culture.
Guy: He was more important than Mozart.

(Girl, lecturing guy.)
Girl: No, your parents can’t move to Japan. Your parents are both over six feet tall.

(Sociology class.)
Professor: Where does object value come from? Nowhere. We fetishize commodities. We lick telephones.
(The telephone rings.)
Professor: Hello? Hello. No, this is a class at UConn. Okay. Okay, Bye.
(Hangs up.)
Professor: Someone was looking for their dog named Mike.

(Two guys in the hallway.)
Guy: I’ve got my really boring friend coming over in ten minutes. Can I drink a bunch of your beer?

(Guy and girl talking.)
Girl: I feel fat.
Guy: Yeah, you’re fat. You’re so fat. You sleep with giants.

(Folks in the dining hall.)
Girl: Why do you keep socks in your pocket?
Guy: My mom always yelled at me whenever my socks fell out of my pocket.

(Girl and a guy arguing.)
Guy: C’mon. Been carrying the tension in my shoulders for weeks now.
Girl: No! I’m not giving you a back rub! Your shoulders aren’t hairy enough!

(Girl, holding out a fistful of dollars.)
Girl: I want some kind of spiced, roasted nut. I want some nuts. I want some hot, hot nuts.

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