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Pissed List: Birthday Edition

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birthday_cakeYesterday was my birthday and while it should be the greatest day every year (besides Halloween!), I have a few gripes.

1. The Facebook “Happy Birthday” – I’ve been using FB long enough to know that most people (myself included) rely on it to tell us of important upcoming birthdays. That’s fine. What’s not fine is the sheer amount of people who do not speak to me in person but have no problem wishing me a happy birthday on my wall. Here’s a tip: if were aren’t close enough for you to leave me a witty inside joke, then I don’t want your birthday wishes.

2. Getting Old – I’m old. Really old. I won’t tell you how old (you’ll have to be my FB friend for that….and then randomly wish me a happy birthday every year), but it’s not pretty over here. No more staying up all night to party and feeling great the next day. Now I have to weigh every night out and decide if it will be fun enough to be worth the 3-day hangover that will follow it up. Seriously. I never felt hangovers like this when I was in my prime (20-22). And I hear it’s only worse from here…

3. Big Birthday Parties – My birthday dinner was with 5 of my wonderful friends. I make a rule that I have to be able to talk to everyone at my birthday, otherwise why should they come? I have tons of friends who do the 30-person birthday dinner, or 60-person bar evite. Come on, people. Big birthdays are fine for big moments: 21st, 30th… I know you want to feel special on your birthday, but you don’t need to celebrate with that girl from your Psych study group. Or the T.A.. Or anyone else who only communicate with you through Facebook.

4. No More Presents – “We’re in a recession,” “you’re too old,” blah blah blah. I still want presents!  Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful for the free shots at the bar, but I want a present that doesn’t leave me sticking my face in the toilet bowl at the end of the night. I want clothes! Toys! Jewelry! (And no, FB gifts don’t count!)

5. Can’t we get some fat free birthday cake by now? It’s 2009!

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