Why He Doesn’t Call Back: Because It’s Easy

One of my biggest pet peeves with the male population is when a guy doesn’t call back. Yes, I know that I should take a hint from He’s Just Not That Into You and know that no call = no interest, but it still makes me mad.

If a guy says he’s gonna call, then he should call. And if he’s not interested, then he should just suck it up, be a man, and tell me. I’m an adult – I can handle it. I who would rather have a definitive answer than be left wondering.

And wonder I do.

I can’t help it. As much as I know in my head that guys would call if they are interested, my heart takes control of the situation and I am left laying by the phone, willing it to ring. Or running to it every time it does in hopes that said boy has finally mustered up the courage to give me a buzz, only to be left disappointed when it’s my mother…again…calling to ask me what I thought of American Idol.

And then the tables turned.

I met a boy at the bar and in my booze-y haze I thought he was charming, cute and hilarious. We talked the whole night, went home together and had some fun in his living room. Why we couldn’t wait to take it to the bedroom I’ll never know, but I learned a valuable lesson that night about sex on a leather couch: don’t have it.

But I digress. The point is, after spending some time with him in the morning I realized that he was none of the things I was attracted to the night before. I just wasn’t that into him.

I gave him my number in the morning knowing full well I would never call him back. What else was I supposed to do? Refuse when he asked for it? Lie and tell him I don’t do that whole cell phone thing? Yeah right. Then I kissed him goodbye and told him we’d talk soon. I know I didn’t mean it, but  I didn’t know what else to say.

When he called me two days later to see if I wanted to come to his house party, I didn’t answer the call. Or the text. Or the Facebook friend request. “He’ll get the point,” I thought to myself. And so I never called back and awkwardly avoided him every time I saw him thereafter.

I didn’t realize what I was doing until a friend pointed it out to me. “You’re doing the same thing to him that you hate when guys do to you.”

Hm. I had never thought of it that way. It just felt so much different on this side of things; it made sense. Why hurt someone’s feelings by telling them you aren’t interested (or even figure out how to tell them that) when you can just ignore them and hope they get the point? Everyone knows that if you are interested you’d call back, so they should totally know that a lack of call-back means you aren’t into them. And you didn’t have to say anything/have an awkward conversation! It’s the perfect scenario.

Well, minus that whole “suck it up and be a man” thing. But I can’t help it; it’s just. so. easy. And they’ll get the point…eventually.

So tell me: what do you do in this situation? Do you tell them or just let it die?

VH1’s Tough Love: “Sex and the Male Brain”
VH1’s Tough Love: “Sex and the Male Brain”
  • 10614935101348454