I know the semester isn’t over yet – unfortunately – but I feel fully comfortable here now. Why? Because I am ready for summer. I know it’s weird to feel like I belong because I am wishing I weren’t here, but for the first time college is beginning to feel like the good-old-(or at least predictable and comfortable) days of high school.
In the fall, I was so excited and nervous to be here. With all the new parts of my life keeping me busy, I skipped the phase of I-wish-it-were-still-summer that I have every October of my life. And while I looked forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks, it was not because I wanted to get away from school, but that I wanted to see my hometown again. That last day of finals was actually a little sad, since I knew I’d be without my college friends for over a month. This was drastically different from the last day in December for previous years, when I stuffed everything in my backpack and drove out of the school parking lot as fast as possible.
What truly surprised me was that coming back to college this spring was interesting. In high school, coming back from break meant midterms, more studying, and many dull and long months to go. This year it meant new classes that I got to pick, seeing my friends again, and going out more. So far, my usual emotions during the school year have been off compared to years before. Until now.
Spring break is over, and I have two months stretched out ahead of me until summer. For once, my feelings line up exactly with how they were last April. Sure, my senior year at this time was filled with prom drama, AP studying and figuring out who got into which colleges. But now we have housing drama, exams, and figuring out who got what internship for the summer. The rest of this year felt so new, but these last few weeks have been very familiar. Not exactly in a good way. I am getting a little bored in my classes, which did not happen last semester because I think I was still in the I’m-at-college-and-everything-is-cool phase. I am thinking more and more about when I can finally keep my coat in my closet. I am procrastinating at even greater levels than the rest of the year.
While this makes life a little dull, I like knowing that college isn’t all that crazy and new. It’s still school, and if I made it through the last twelve years, I think I can handle the next three years… and 2 months.