I remember those naive high school days when puking during a rager meant that a) you couldn’t control your liquor and b) the party was over, for you. That’s why I was shocked one night during my freshman year of college, when my friend came back from the bathroom and proudly announced, “Oh, man, I just puked my brains out!”
I immediately switched to babysitter-mode. “Are you okay? Do we need to leave?” I asked, fully concerned.
“Nope!” My friend replied. “Got more room for beer now!”
At the time, this was an unprecedented occurrence to me. I’d never considered the theory of “puke and rally.”
A few years later, I’ve totally become acquainted with this practice. One summer, after a coworker tried unsuccessfully to light three consecutive shots of Sambuca on fire in mouth, I knew that that much booze so quickly was not going to be good. After the third shot went down, I booked it for the bathroom and barfed. A friend was worriedly knocking on the bathroom door, concerned as I had once been for my own friend. I opened the door, and she asked if I was okay. My response?
It wasn’t until the next day that I’d admitted to vomiting. The funny thing is that, at the time, this seemed logical. But as I’m writing this, I am already imagining the scathing comments this article will receive from disgusted CC readers.
The truth is, there are thousands of college girls across the country who have taken to this procedure. Not only is it easy to think you’re sobering up by sticking your finger down your throat midway through the night (newsflash, you really aren’t), but, in today’s media-crazed, looks-obsessed society, there’s a lot of pressure for women to keep the freshman (or sophomore, or junior, or senior) fifteen off. And a lot of the time, getting rid of the empty alcohol calories seems like the way to go.
It’s a lot easier to induce vomiting when you’re already close to naturally letting go, or when you’re buzzed enough not to feel your index finger scraping your tonsils. And then there’s the midnight munchies. You know, when that chicken parm calzone, side of curly fries, and half order of mozzarella sticks sobers you up enough to know that you’re going to want to throw up in the morning just thinking about all those calories. So, ladies, what do many of us do? We throw up.
Vomiting due to drinking doesn’t have the stigma that true bulimia has. Bulimia is a disease. Binge drinking in college is merely a social problem. Besides, there’s always the “that hit me way too hard” excuse. If you’ve thrown up from drinking, chances are, people will assume it was a freak incident, but if your friends suspect you of having an eating disorder, they will call for intervention. So making yourself throw up with the “well I was drunk” excuse doesn’t seem so bad.
The truth? Purging is purging. You can’t make excuses to your esophagus when it is being eaten away by the stomach acid you just conjured up. And if you’re drinking to excess every night and consistently blowing chunks before hitting the hay, you better write an apology letter to your liver as well.
So, ladies, let’s make a pact – let’s not over-do the binging, and let’s not rely on purging as a quick solution to our bad decisions. Besides, what happens when you run into a hot guy at the end of the night, and your breath smells (and tastes) like stale beer, vomit, and the lingering aromas of cheese fries?