Tough Love: That Bitch is Crazy

Last night’s Tough Love episode made me realize a few things. First, I need to move to L.A. to marry Steve Ward. Second, OMFG, I love Steve Ward. And third, judging a guy based on his footwear is not cute. It’s crazy.

In an effort to show the ladies of the house that there are some things they do that are just not OK to share (or to take part in at all), Steve set up a game show where he shared the girls’ secrets and asked guys what they thought. Turns out letting your cats choose your BF is weird (no way!), but having a giant tattoo around your vagina is not (huh?).

Now, I get the purpose behind this test, and I agree with the guys for the most part (wearing a tiara in your apartment is indeed weird), but did you see the type of dude making up that audience? It looked like Steve Ward hijacked an L.A. Ink tour bus and dumped them in the “Cute or Crazy” studio. What do these guys really know about women?

After getting torn apart by a group of burly men, the women were set up on dates and given another test: to share a secret. Well, everyone but Jessa, who ended up on a date with Steve (that lucky bitch) strapped to a lie detector test. And, well, I guess she shared a secret, too: that she doesn’t like Steve.

WHAT?!

How can you not like Steve? Because he is calling out all your flaws? Because he sees your issues and wants to bring them out? Because his eyes are so beautiful that they are like deep oceans through which you can see his soul? Because he looks so hot in a suit and tie!?!

WTF is your problem, Jessa? And if you don’t like Steve, then pack up and head home. Make some room for someone who actually wants to be there. I know I wouldn’t mind a little tough love, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Whoa. Sorry about the tangent. Moving on…

As usual, the show ends with group therapy where Steve picked out the best and worst performers of the week. Taylor gets the nod from Steve for acting really mature on her date and not totally walking out on him because he didn’t drive a Maybach. Abiola gets the slap on the wrist for being too picky, but we learn that she’s not picky because she wants perfection – she’s picky because she just wants a reason to push someone away before they push her away.

Can I get an “awwww”? Seriously, how many of us do the same thing? I turned down a guy once because he watched Fox News. Or because he was really effing hot and I thought he’d reject me the minute he saw me out of a dark, smokey bar. I needed a reason to dump him before he could dump me. Now look at me – I spent my Saturday night watching High School Musical. Alone. And crying. The fact it, I totally see a little bit of myself in Abiola (and that is not the part that wears one giant earring/has cats) and I do believe that watching her work with Steve will help me deal with my own issues.

Like the fact that I won’t date a guy who wears Doc Martins…or khakis…or really short finger nails. Ew. I just threw up a little bit.

I really need Steve’s help.
(Call me!)

Overheard: Everybody’s F**king Angry!
Overheard: Everybody’s F**king Angry!
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