How’s that free ice cream treating you? What, you didn’t know it was Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s? Oh, I’m sure you knew about Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin Donuts then? No? Well, you need to get on that because today just might be the best day ever!
The only thing that would make today any better would be if today was Friday, and the last day of classes, and maybe if I had a hot date tonight. Okay, so today could be better, but this ice cream and coffee certainly aren’t hurting my mood. Honestly, anytime someone wants to give me free or discounted stuff I’m going to be incredibly happy.
In fact, my perfect day would revolve around freebies. My perfect day would start with my Dunkin Donuts coffee and a free makeover at Sephora, where they would send me away with a bag of free makeup and spa goodies. Then I’d swing over to Ihop for some free pancakes, served to me by the hottest waiter Ihop has to offer. You know what? Let’s just say Zac Efron will serve me my short stack. And he will be shirtless. I know shirtless isn’t the most sanitary condition for the food industry, but he’s just so damn pretty, I don’t even care.
On my way home from breakfast I’ll pass H&M who just happens to be having Free Wardrobe Day. I’ll swing in, stock up, and make it out in time for the iPhone raffle drawing at my local Apple store. I’ll win, of course.
My perfect day will also have the perfect weather. It will be warm and sunny, perfect for the new sundress I picked up at H&M. I’ll walk over to the park to enjoy the sunshine and figure out my new phone. Unfortunately, I’ll break the heel on on my new sandals (even perfect days have their bumps), but don’t worry – Jason Segel just happens to be in the park and sees that I’m in distress. He helps me hobble over to the closest shoe store. He says he knows the owner, and just like that, I score a new pair of free Jimmy Choos.
Me and Jason chat about what a great day I’m having. He tells me endearing celebrity stories and we bond over our mutual love of Muppets. Jason loves how positive and upbeat I am (thanks to my perfect day, of course) and asks me to dinner. We go to a fancy restaurant where Jason picks up the tab. He’ll take me home on the back of his Vespa, but my hair won’t get messed up.
Jason had such a great time that he gets my number. Inevitably we get married and become the next big Hollywood power couple. My new celebrity status gets me free swag all the time. I even make friends with Oprah who likes to buy me new cars every once in a while. “It’s too much,” I tell her, but I accept her gifts anyway because it makes her happy.
So my perfect day turned into a perfect life, and it all started with Iced Coffee Day. Get out there and enjoy your free stuff! Who knows? It could turn out better than you expected.