Why Are High Schoolers So Dumb?

When I was in high school we passed our time driving around and prank calling boys. High School kids today are pretty much the same, except replace “driving around” with “choking themselves to  get high” and change “prank calling boys” to “sending naked pictures to boys.” Was high school really that long ago or am I just a hell of a lot smarter than today’s teens?

I’m pretty sure high school was only about four years ago, so I’m left wondering what the hell is going on with teenagers? I don’t mean to sound judgmental or high-and-mighty, because we’ve all been there. We all lived in that place where everything was the end of the world, where drama ran high and there was never, ever enough glitter. But come on, things have gotten a little out of control lately.

Whether high school was the best time of your life or a time you’d rather forget, it’s still a time that we can vividly remember. That being said, I do not remember “the choking game”  being a fun after school activity. I also don’t remember blowing anyone on the back of the bus nor witnessing anyone else performing oral sex on the back of the bus. It just wasn’t happening when I was a teenager.

Teenagers are not my favorite group of people, so I have no problem calling them idiots. Seriously, what are they thinking? Not only are they becoming a group of mini faux-celebretards, but they aren’t doing anything even remotely smart or safe.

Take the latest sexting scandal. I get that you want to flirt with hot guys via fast paced technology; it’s fun, I know that. But maybe you could keep your shirt on? Or even your panties for that matter? That would be smart.

Also, stop drinking at school. Once again, I understand that assemblies are boring, but maybe selling vodka shots out of water bottles isn’t the best way to spice things up. As a college student, I of all people know how much fun boozin’ can be. But once again, let’s be smart, yes? You are underage, you are at school, you do not know your limits, and you are tiny and possibly pre-pubescent. You should not be drinking. You will most likely die and/or get expelled and spend the rest of your life working at Applebees. Stop trying to land yourself in rehab! It’s not as cool as Lindsay Lohan makes it out to be.

I have never felt older and more conservative than I have when I listen to today’s teens. I say this, not because I love them, but because I am going to have to deal with their crap when they “grow up” and graduate. I do not want to land my dream job, only to worry about potentially training these idiots someday. Let it be known that if I find anyone passed out in the bathroom at work, I’m reporting your ass and taking over your cubicle. You’ve been warned.

Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: It’s so Easy Being Green!
Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: It’s so Easy Being Green!
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