The Morning After: The Pee Pee Night

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs…and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we’d bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

I’ll put it plainly: On my 19th birthday, I made it my duty to get really, really drunk. It was my freshman year at school, and my parents had come up for the weekend and taken a few of my closest friends out to celebrate with us. Naturally, as is often customary when mom and dad are footing the bill, the wine was flowing for a good two hours. By the time we finished dinner and got back to campus I had a great buzz, and we made our way to our friend’s apartment where a party was being thrown in my honor.

A kid that I had been hooking up with lived in the apartment along with nine other guys, and as the night went on we starting flirting a lot and it seemed like I would end up spending the night. I was really excited that he was paying attention to me – so excited that I didn’t even care when I dropped my new cell phone in the toilet. (I’ll always owe one of my best friends for sticking her hand into my pee and extracting my shiny pink Motorola Razor… Since that weekend, when talking to my parents, I’ve maintained the argument that one of my friends dropped it into the toilet. They still don’t believe me.)

Anyways, fast forward to the next morning.

I woke up with my best friend’s phone number (the same friend who bravely retrieved my cell phone from the depths of the toilet bowl) scrawled across my stomach. When I opened my eyes I was staring my boy right in the….feet. It just so happens that the guy and I woke up lying HEAD TO TOE in his bed. That’s right. My head was at the bottom of the bed; I had no clothes on, and no recollection of the events that had passed the previous night.

I rolled over and looked to the clear coffee table in the middle of the room. There was a puddle of yellow liquid shining in the morning sunlight. I was later informed that I got out of bed – midway through a make-out session, I might add – and mistook the table for the toilet. Oops. I tried insisting that there was no way that I had done that, and suggested that perhaps he was the one who thought it was a good idea to pee in the middle of his bedroom. I was wrong.

To top it all off, I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened (sexually, if you know what I mean), and had to have the extremely embarrassing conversation in which I “clarified” the night’s activities. “Did we….?” “Condom or no condom?” “Was I good? You know…after the pee pee incident?” You know the deal.

Since the boy still found me attractive enough to hump post table-pee, I figured he was OK with it. A week later, though, I found out that stories of my little peeing problem had been making their way through his group of friends, all of whom were seniors and must have had some great laughs at my expense. To make matters worse, my best friend was dating one of the guys who lived in his house, and my friends and I were always over there. I had to see him (and ignore him) all the time, and was constantly reminded of my shameful birthday behavior.

It was certainly a night to remember, or forget, as the case may be.

You have a story to recap? Email it to [email protected] and she’ll share it (anonymously, of course) here!

Weekly Wrap Up: Best Week Ever!
Weekly Wrap Up: Best Week Ever!
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