The Hills: Not as Suspenseful When We Know Speidi Gets Married

Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, but Brody did come out of his hotel room in Hawaii and tell all the boys that he cheated on Jayde, right? (And what the hell kind of stripper name is Jayde, really?!) Does Brody consider sitting up all night talking about his GF with another girl cheating or was he just trying to impress his friends by telling them that he cheated?

Because this week we learn that he didn’t hook up with Audrina at all and they just slept – yes, slept – in the same bed. Being an adult woman, I do consider that inappropriate for someone in a relationship, but I wouldn’t call that cheating. And if it were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t get my trashy, Playmate entourage to stick their fake press-on nails in that poor girl’s face.

It’s not that big a deal. And my friends don’t wear fake nails.

I felt really bad for Audrina. Yes, it seems like girls in L.A. don’t understand the boundaries of liking men who are committed to someone else (See: Stacie…. if you consider Spencer to be a man), but Brody totally led that girl on. And then left her out to dry as his tranny-looking GF attacked her. I swear, if Audrina stuck around a little longer Jayde was gonna knock her out with the empty Jager bottle.

If Jayde was really so mad, she should take a break from Brody. But no – she can’t do that. Her career already peaked when she got naked for Playboy, so she’s gotta keep Brody around so she can get another 15 minutes of un-earned fame. Too bad having her back means taking a trip down Speidi path where he is going to alienate all of his friends just to have sex with a Playmate.

Seriously, if people attempted to learn about relationships from this show they’d walk away thinking that people in love make stupid decisions and end up losing all their friends. WTF, MTV?

I mean, look at Spencer and Heidi. They totally moved to Spray Tan/Blonde Hair Island and no one else was invited. Now they are in “therapy” dealing with the fact that they only have eachother…and it’s not that great. I could have told them that, you know, if I cared to see them in a happy relationship. But I didn’t and now they are spending their Saturday afternoons with a therapist instead of chasing the paparazzi through Hollywood and fake making out.

Gosh, I just hope they make it work. I really don’t know how it’s all going to turn out for them. Will they take that walk down the aisle? Will Heidi wear a Monique Lhullier dress and 1 million dollars in borrowed diamonds? Will Stephanie and Holly be the bridesmaids? Will LC show up? What about Kristen Cavillari? And will there be a weird pandemic of some dangerous flu that comes out of Mexico forcing Speidi to shorten their honeymoon and makeout in the airport wearing surgical masks?

I just don’t know. And we’re going to have to wait and find out. Ah! The suspense is going to kill me!!

Yahoo Question of the Week: Why Are My Jeans Tight?
Yahoo Question of the Week: Why Are My Jeans Tight?
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