Got The Munchies? These Snacks Will Kill You

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You goin’ out tonight? Gonna hit the town and celebrate that final final? You gonna get so drunk that the only thing on your mind at the end of the night is gooey, cheesy and totally bad for you?

Me too!

But before you a make poor decision that involves you and the delivery places you clearly have on speed dial, read on. There are some snacks out there that are just not worth eating, no matter how many Vodka Red Bulls you’ve downed in honor of the end of History 240. Things you will regret more in the morning than last weekend’s romp with the History 240 T.A. Assuming all that fat and grease doesn’t prevent you from making it to the morning…

Domino’s Bread Bowl Pasta.
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Not sure why you would want to eat this, as it both looks and sounds nauseating. But in case your taste buds aren’t satisfied with noodles alone and they long for a massive tub of soggy bread to soak up all the caloric goodness, just remember… NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM! No really– stay far, far away from this god-awful, heart-attack inducing concoction. I mean, who really needs to eat the bowl!? The giant serving of cheesy, creamy, fatty pasta isn’t enought?

It’s just gross. End of story.

Pizza Hut’s P’zone Pizza.
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Described as: “Over a pound of toppings and cheese baked into a folded pizza crust!” I’m pretty sure that translates to: “Over a pound of extra fat stuffed into a pair of skinny jeans!”

Taco-Bell’s Nachos BellGrande.
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Any food item with the word “grande” in it should most likely (as in, most definitely) be avoided. Unless it’s from Starbucks. You may think it’s not so bad – it’s  prepared with reduced fat sour cream! – but don’t be fooled. Low fat toppings or not,with 760 calories and 1300 mg of sodium (60% of your daily value of salt packed into one snack….er….fourthmeal!) this is a baaaad late night choice.

KFC Chicken and Biscuit Bowl.
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(I think I just puked). Imagine of the four unhealthiest food items: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cheese, and biscuits. Now pile them on top of one another, smother the stuff in gravy, and whad’ya get? Something you should probably never eat.

Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust Pizzas.
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If pizza itself isn’t a bad enough choice for curing (or provoking) the munchies, try pizza with extra cheese literally “stuffed” into the crust. The pie is apparently packed with melted cheese in the crust “so that the last bite is as good as the first.” Yea…so the last bite is as good, and fatty, as the first one. Two (of those very small Pizza Hut) slices have 800 calories. And if that wasn’t harmful enough, just imagine those grease burns you’ll get when that sh*t drips down your arms. Probably not the best choice during bikini season. Or ever.

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