I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.
Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.
But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.
Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)
This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours?
Kiki – University of Missouri: I definitely change my outfit at least nine times a day, sucking it in and checking myself out in our full length mirror every time. The costume changes are prompted by library runs, laundry duty, gym visits, basically any activity outside my dorm room with the potential for human interaction
Lauren – University of Michigan: No one – besides the drunk people in the dark, crowded bar – needs to see me doin’ my thing with some cutie in the corner. I know it’s not pretty.
Thu – USC: Sitting on the couch with a spoon in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other… that’s now half empty.
Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I burp like none other
Ricki – University of Michigan: When I’m bored I try on outfits and stare at myself in the mirror even
if it’s a Wednesday afternoon and I have nowhere to go.
Liza M – Minnesota: The ridiculous amount of time I spend online…wasting time….when I should be studying. I’d be boring!
Carrie – Duke: Bringing my magazine (or, uh laptop) into the bathroom with me… (TMI?)
Erica – Kent State: Those times when I’m alone in my car for long distances… and trying to rap to some gangsta music (and failing miserably!).
Kim – University of Delaware: Analyzing texts from guys and asking for advice on how to respond. “Should I use ‘dot dot dot’ or does that sound too promiscuous. Ok, so just a question mark? And why did he say ‘you GUYS’ and not just ‘you’???”
John – UConn: When I’m alone, I swear at my own body. “Oh, gross, what is this? Phlegm? More phlegm? Are you f***ing kidding me? F*** you and f*** phlegm!”
Sara C – Fordham: I sample my sister’s makeup because she has way more than I do, but she’s very finicky about sharing. Sorry, sis.
K – GWU: I would never, ever want my getting ready/dancing sesh’s caught on camera – while I may feel like I am a Pussycat Doll, I am most certainly not.
Mechelle – Florida State: I will spend literally an hour straightening my hair. My boyfriend always makes fun of me. To make matters worse, I live in Florida and have to do it a couple times a day.
Jill – University of Wisconsin: Where do I start? Dancing around my apartment in just a bra & underwear; eating ice cream on my couch straight out of the carton – in just a bra & underwear; singing with my hairbrush – in just a bra & underwear. Any shot of me at ALL in just a bra & underwear.
Caitlin – University of Alabama: I wouldn’t want to be caught watching the-N shows i.e. Degrassi, The Best Years, etc. Totally lame, and especially while eating out of the ice cream carton while crying because Sam and Rich should be together. Yeah I wouldn’t want to show that.
Katie – Michigan State University: If someone caught me on camera while I was dancing like an idiot to crappy trance music in my pajamas and checking myself out in the mirror like I’m some sort of sexy (in between spoonfuls of peanut butter, of course) I would pretty much die.
Carly – Grinnell: I smash walnuts with my teeth rather than my food processor before putting them in recipes. Usually I am the only one eating the final product . . . usually.
Maddie – Tufts: My obsession with eating condiments plain (such as pesto, caesar dressing, and ketchup…)
Sarabeth – University of Texas: When I get bored, I waggle my butt while laying on my bed….just because.
Kari – FSU: Definitely not all the goofy voices/faces/songs that I make or sing when I’m alone with my boyfriend.
Kelly – Simmons University: When I get frustrated, I tend to yell at inanimate objects.
Cristina – Michigan State: I would definitely not want cameras catching me constantly watching makeup tutorials on YouTube. It’s not anything creepy or embarrassing, but I’m subscribed to about 30 people who literally talk about just makeup. I need a few superficial moments daily.