The Morning After: Blinded By Lust

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs…and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we’d bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

We’ve all seen how boys act when they want to make out with you at a club. First, they come up behind you and begin to dance. Maybe you introduce yourselves, maybe you don’t. If they are a good dancer, you continue dancing, and if they suck, you text your friend that you have to go to the bathroom and she comes and pretends that she has to use the facilities at that exact second.

However, if you have decided that this guy is worth your dancing time, about five-ten minutes into the encounter (2-4 songs) he will likely turn you around so that it is only natural that your faces are near each other, therefore giving him the opportunity to make out with you.

One of my first weekends of college, this guy came up to dance behind me at a party. After getting the thumbs up from my friend across the dance floor, we proceeded to dance (or tried to between the other 200 people on the floor). At the exact right moment, about 3 songs into our encounter, he turned me around to hook up with him. However, instead of turning me around by my shoulder like I assumed he meant to, his drunken self turned me around to him by the eye.

Yes, the eye.

And he didn’t just brush my baby blue – he literally grabbed it, forcing my -10.0 contact fall out of its home. (For those of you with perfect vision, I qualify as legally blind without any help.) My contact then proceeded to drop to the floor where drunk sweaty people coming in from the rain (yes, it was raining) had been stepping all night.

Instead of swaying back and forth with this hottie’s tongue in my mouth, then, I was on my hands and knees in a mini skirt (giving that boy quite a show) patting down the sticky floor while avoiding the sharp heels of drunk girls dancing around me. And, convinced that I would be blind for life, I was sobbing.

I dragged the boy to the floor, further convincing him of the fact that he had found the psycho freshman girl of the new class. While he pondered ways to avoid the situation, I was trying to figure out how I was going to half-blindly find a dorm that I couldn’t find in the daylight.

I ultimately found the contact and, convinced I needed it to make it home alive, rinsed it off and stuck it back in my eye. Then ran home, threw it out and stood with my eyes open in the shower for 10 minutes.

I never did get to make out with that guy. Nor did I ever see him again. Too bad, too; despite his awful hand/eye coordination, the guy was hot. At least I think he was. I only had one eye.

Top 10: Worst Things a Guy Can Say the Morning After
Top 10: Worst Things a Guy Can Say the Morning After
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