We all know that texting while drunk is a horrible idea (can we say misspelled embarrassment, much?), just as much as drunk dialing. However, texting while doing other things can prove to be even more dangerous.
Recently there have been incidents throughout the country involving transit workers texting while on the job and then, from lack of attention, having accidents. The most current example of this happened in Boston, where a trolley operator had been texting his girlfriend and subsequently rear-ended another trolley at a red light. This event has triggered one of the strictest bans seen on mobile phones since my mom wouldn’t let me have mine at the dinner table. If it goes through, transit operators in Massachusetts will no longer be able to even have a cell phone on them at work.
This policy of zero-tolerance on texting and calling for transit workers is a great idea. Who wants to be responsible and call a cab home from the bar if your cab driver is just going to text the entire time and probably cause an accident anyway? Nobody! That’s why I think there are a fair few other occupations where this ban would also be helpful:
1) Food Vendors: This one is a no-brainer – I don’t want your phone anywhere near my food. Where has it been?? Have you cleaned it lately? C’mon, we’ve all seen Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist…that phone could have been anywhere (yuck).
2) Civil Engineers: These guys make important decisions all day long and have to do really complicated math stuff that will affect the durability of the buildings we live in and the bridges we drive on. I would rather not leave it in the hands of some dude more interested in texting his friends about some geeky LAN party that weekend.
3) Babysitters: Kids are tricky – you gotta watch them every second or they’ll turn around and make your life hell… or fall down the stairs. Texting would kind of distract you from this purpose and lead to an, oh I don’t know, child abduction or Honey, I Blew Up The Kid! situation. We don’t need no giant toddlers up in here, thanks.
4) Professors: I can barely concentrate in class anyway, so I can understand if my teacher is tempted by the vibrations coming from her cell phone (I hope that’s where they are coming from, anyway). But let’s face it – we need someone to be in control of Psych 201 and it might as well be the person who is getting paid to do it. Phones away, please.
5) Walkers: Ok, so it’s not a profession, but have you ever gotten caught behind someone trying to text while walking? It’s almost as bad as driving behind my grandma. All that stopping and starting, moving so slowly, and taking up the entire sidewalk. Step aside, foo!
6) Lifeguards: Yeah, we appreciate the fact that some lifeguards are super hot and probably have a roaring social life that they need to manipulate via text. However, when I’m frolicking in the rolling waves with some new sexy guy friends, I’d like to have the security of someone watching over me who wasn’t buzzed on delicious summer drinks or texting plans to get buzzed on delicious summer drinks.
7) Paramedics: We kinda need these guys to fix us up after we were stupid enough to text while driving. If they’re texting, too? Well, let’s try not to think about that and hope that the guy handling the respiratory machine isn’t also trying to text his mom what he wants for dinner.
8) Strippers: You’re supposed to be shaking it, period. Unless you’re into thumbs, texting is just so not sexy. Now get back on that pole!
9) Airline Pilots: Well, all transit workers, really. Hell, I need four prescriptions to get on a plane even when I think the pilot is completely responsible and concentrating. Just thinking about my pilot texting while flying might put me up to five bottles of pills. Crazy speeds and heavy machinery? ‘Nuff said.