G.W.W.E.: Ben “Gives Me a Stiffy” Stiller

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Please take a look at Ben Stiller. The man is a perfect specimen–striking features, cool demeanor, pee-your-pants funny (okay, maybe not such a good trait if you’re trying to hook up with him, but you get my point).  Can you think of anything unsexy about Ben? Well, just in case you’re having trouble working up your mojo, I’ve compiled a few reasons why he’s my boy-toy of the week.

Why do I want to eff Ben? Let me count the ways:

1) He’s really effing smart (“How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can’t even fit inside the building?”–from Zoolander).

2) He’s really effing humble (“I couldn’t believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn’t know my name.”–from There’s Something About Mary).

3) He can play hard to get (“If you can get it from my kung-fu grip then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch!” –from Meet the Parents).

4) He’ll show you who’s boss (“You can’t be my boss! Nobody’s my boss! I’m my own boss! I created myself!”–from Dodgeball).

5) He knows the meaning of sacrifice (“Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarrassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.” — from Along Came Polly).

And this week, Ben has enjoyed the release of his newest movie, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, as he awaits the receipt of the Generation Award, the MTV Movie Awards’ highest honor, at this weekend’s ceremonies.

But before you start getting full of yourself, Ben, I’d just like to remind you that there is more to  life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking. And discovering life’s other pleasures requires a night spent in my bed.

Hugging is a Dirty, Dirty Thing?
Hugging is a Dirty, Dirty Thing?
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