Instead of trusting the business intuition of people who made it big on their ability to look pretty and stand on cue (really – who needs another celebrity perfume??), we decided to make our own list of celebrity products that are more appropriate to the celebrities themselves:
Angelina Jolie Fertility Drugs – When one (or two, or eight) just isn’t enough…
Amy Winhouse Coke Mirrors – Because no one knows lines like Amy.
Britney Spears Electric Razors – Nothing but the best will do to shave your head.
Michael Jackson Boys Underwear – Choosy mothers choose MJ’s (backless) Boys Underwear.
Tom Cruise Couches – Now with sturdier construction and more durable fabric for those days when you just feel like jumping around!
Zac Efron Hair Extensions – The sexy side-swept look will drive the ladies wild!
Kanye West Earplugs – Because people say a lot of stupid sh*t.
Heidi Montag Relationship Guides – Now you, too, can find the only person on earth who finds you attractive.
Madonna ‘roids – When you need that ripped, sinewy look for a special night out…
Ashlee Simpson Lipsyncing Machines – It’s almost like real singing!
Chris Brown Boxing Gloves – Nothing protects your hands better while you’re punching…stuff.
Lily Allen Double-Sided Tape – For those rare occasions when showing your nips isn’t appropriate.
Paris Hilton Body Condoms: Protecting you from skin to skin contact since 2009.
We can only hope that these products (well, maybe not all of them) see the glorious light of day in a display window someday soon. We’ll get our checkbooks ready, just in case.