Tucker Max Is The Bane of My Existence

tuckermax“It’s about living the life you want to live, not the life others push onto you. It’s about being the person you want to be, not the person other people want you to be, and it’s about enjoying the time you have.” Where did these wise words of wisdom come from? None other than the infamous Tucker Max.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this rather controversial creature, Tucker Max is the author of the book “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” a series of unfortunately true stories about Tucker Max’s “adventures” of how he likes to “disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.” Wow, seems like the type of guy you are just dying to bring home to your parents, huh?

As if reading about the crude, offensive, vomit-inducing stories isn’t enough, you can soon experience a visual effect. Yes, that is correct. Tucker Max’s movie based on his best-selling novel will open in theaters this fall. I think it’s safe to say that this movie can’t possibly reenact the majority of Tucker’s experiences, because even an NC-17 rating wouldn’t cut it. But you never know these days.

With a book that was on New York Time’s bestselling list for three years in a row, and a movie out soon, clearly this dude has got a lotta funs. In fact, he’s becoming someone that guys look up to. Guys now have this notion that if you drink yourself to oblivion and get with every girl in sight (no matter what they look like and regardless of whether they are too drunk to function) then you’re “the man.” It’s like Tucker is the male Carrie Bradshaw… with a beyond vulgar twist. He’s inspiring guys from coast to coast to act like an ass and to do so without remorse.

I think it’s safe to say that Tucker Max is officially ruining men. And if we thought we were safe (because most guys don’t read books anyway) this movie is only going to make it worse.

Ladies, we’re all screwed (no pun intended).

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