Why I Don’t Speak Cunnilingus

I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to sex, I’m not going to lie. I love to experiment with men that I’m serious about and whom I trust, and I’m not opposed to an adventurous fling either. However, I have a confession: I might be open to hair-pulling, spanking, and playing dress-up, and there’s probably nothing that could come out of a guy’s mouth that would be dirty enough to make me blush… but I do not let men go down on me.

Take a minute. Catch your breath. Reread if you don’t believe it.

I’m sorry, but I’ve never enjoyed oral sex. I have no problem doling it out, but there are only a couple of men whom I’ve allowed to walk the red carpet, and they’ve only had the privilege on rare occasions.

My aversion to cunnilingus, I feel, stems from low self esteem and a rather horrific first time. I was shy and inexperienced, and losing my virginity was no Cinderella story. After that, it was a long time before I had vaginal sex again, but I did dole out my fair share of blow jobs. Go figure.

Looking back, I think it was a control issue. I had little control over my first time, and to me, going down on a guy was controlling. I was calling the shots. I could get him off. He was the one lying on the bed, losing his mind to ecstatic climax (sorry, I am damn good at fellatio). With regular sex, I felt like the power was equal. My partner and I were both simultaneously trying to please the other, while experiencing our own euphoric physical feelings. It was okay to give away my body, because it was a fair trade

I told myself I was like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, the prostitute that doesn’t kiss on the lips because she has to save something to prove her feelings when she finally falls in love. I had boyfriends, and I was sexually active, but I knew that I wanted to save something for the first time I fell in love. And since I was most insecure with being eaten out, cunnilingus became my “kiss on the lips.”

However, eventually I overcame whatever traumas I dealt with when I first started experimenting. And I finally found the man I was comfortable enough with to allow him to explore the depths that no man had gone before. And… it was disappointing.

For the ladies who have received mind-blowing oral sex, I’m sure you are shaking your head, thinking of all of the wonderful orgasms you’ve had thanks to a few flicks of the tongue. But for me, it’s just not arousing. I think it’s way hotter to feel my partner’s body in tandem with my own, being able to touch him and feel his heart beating next to mine. Lying there, letting him try to get me off and knowing it’s not that great for him just doesn’t do it.

I’m not saying I’m opposed, and I’m sure there will be other serious boyfriends who can try to get me off orally. But it’s not something I am longing for, nor is it something I’m missing in my life. I’d rather ride on top any day.

Sexy Time: Eff The No-Sex Rule
Sexy Time: Eff The No-Sex Rule
  • 10614935101348454