What Your Bikini Wax Says About You

For most of us, bikini waxing is a summertime requirement, along the lines of flip flops and SPF 15. You can’t go to the beach with a fur skirt, right? But did you know that how you landscape says a lot about who you are? It’s true – guys can read your vajay like a book. I asked a couple of dudes what they think when they come face to…er….vajeen.

What kind of story is your bikini line telling?

Goin’ Natural:
If a guy can get some booty, he usually doesn’t care what’s happening south of the border, but that doesn’t mean he’s not paying attention. A woman who lets her forest grow wild is either totally inexperienced in the bedroom or super hippie-dippie-trippie and lets that stuff grow everywhere. “I’m afraid to see what her armpits look like,” says dude #1.

The Traditional Clean Up:
So, you take care of anything that might poke out of the bikini bottoms and do some basic trimming everywhere else. What does this say? “She’s considerate, but probably not going to let me flip her around in bed.”

Landing Strip:
Leaving a little patch is a big turn on for guys. Duh. Dude numero 3 tells me: “She takes care of herself and knows what a guy wants. I’d be willing to ask for some more adventurous sexcapades from her.” Dude #1 chimes in, “The landing strip is the holy grail. When I discover it, I almost can’t control myself. Instant turn on.” (As if he really needed one at that point…)

Baring it All:
If you’re daring enough to go totally bare (and I commend you – OUCH!), guys don’t really know what to think. “I feel like a pedophile when there’s nothing down there,” said one guy. Another can’t stop wondering if it was a “shaving incident gone awry.” But there are some that like it. Guy #2 explained: “I’m much more willing to take myself downtown if there is no worry of coughing up a hairball later. And a girl who gets rid of it all is most definitely a freak in the sheets.”

Fun With Shapes:
Yes, there are women out there who treat their vajays like a work of art. Butterflies, hearts and arrows (?!) are some of the more common shapes women will shave into their nether regions. But what do guys think? “Do not enter. That woman gets around.” Guy #3 agreed: “Like a hot dog in a diseased hallway.”

Do you think guys are “reading” us right?

Life After College: I Need Patti Stanger
Life After College: I Need Patti Stanger
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