Let’s be honest here for a second: books like “He’s Just Not That Into You” exist for a reason. And that reason is that women, as a collective, are really good at convincing ourselves of feelings and relationships that just aren’t there. We get so caught up in luuuurve that we don’t let ourselves see what’s really going on.
You know you’ve been there. You get a drunk text from a guy you heart at 3am and think, “Awww, he’s thinking about me!” You’re giddy and excited (and secretly start planning his birthday gift) and when you don’t get a text the next day (or 3 days after that…) you reason that he’s busy, he’s stressed out, or he has a knack for flushing his phone down the toilet when he’s drunk and he did party pretty hard last night. And your friends totally agree.
But, no matter how delusional we get (and, home girl, you know you get delusional), there comes a time when the signs are bright and flashing and undeniable: this kid is over it. Done. Dunzo. See ya never, biatch.
For me, it was when I made plans to go camping with my boyfriend, only to meet him at his house and see him leaving with another chick. (Yeah, it was rough, but I had the can opener, so I’d like to see how that turned out for him!) Or the guy who told me he was moving home for the summer…and then I saw him at the bar later that week.
For the CollegeCandy writers, there were equally obvious signs:
Kelly – Simmons University: When he said “Let’s go up to Sally’s room” minutes after having sex with me. Sally being the friend he ditched me for.
Ness – Sheridan: After the told me to meet him at a concert… and he showed up with his girlfriend.
Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: When he called me one night and told me detailed (and I mean detailed) information about his sex life. Definitely the fastest way to be shoved into the “friends category.
Kim – University of Delaware: When your girls get invited to a party and you tag along only to find out it’s at his house… and when he spots you he asks who invited you.
Kim – Stanford: He chose XBOX over sex.
Sara C – Fordham: A guy once traveled 150 miles to visit me at school and then insisted on sleeping side-by-side without touching (not even our shoulders) on my uncomfortably narrow dorm bed. Upon finding us the next morning, my roommate said we looked like two corpses in a single coffin. I guess our relationship wasn’t the only thing that had kicked the bucket.
Mandy – Hofstra: When they say “I’m not looking for anything serious”…. even after talking to you for months.
Danielle – Boston University: When he chooses to write a science paper over hooking up with you. That was bad.
Mechelle – Florida State: When he’s not willing to work to make it better. Really, is it so hard to watch a movie with a girl once in a while?
Maddy – Tufts: When I saw pictures of him with another girl on Facebook. So predictable, yet so true.
Ricki- University of Michigan: When he invited his ex-girlfriend up to spend the weekend with him the week before my next date party.
Lauren H – The New School: When his phone spontaneously “stopped getting” all of my calls and texts.
Katie – Michigan State: I knew it was over with my boyfriend when he went to Korea, promising a long-distance relationship and to return in three months…and he never came back. Or called/texted/e-mailed me. It’s only through mutual friends that I know he’s alive (unfortunately).
Sarabeth – University of Texas: When he called me at 2am saying, “I’m gonna have a kid.” Yeah, so over.
Erica – Kent State: When I woke up in his bed @ 7 a.m. and he wasn’t there, and when I called to ask him where he was he said “I’m at [Girl’s name here]. And I’ll come back whenever the hell I want.” OUCH.
Elizabeth – University of Missouri: When he would randomly disappear for an entire weekend… which wouldn’t of been such a big deal, if he wasn’t experimenting with ecstasy/shrooms/salvia/acid.
What about you? When did you know that things with you and your man were at a point of no return?