Bad Advice Men Get: Don’t Be Such a Girl

giving flowers copyThis Week’s Article: Reverse Emasculating Trends by askmen.com.

This week’s article warns men to get rid of emasculating trends in their relationship. I didn’t realize this was such a problem, but apparently men are being emasculated from coast to coast and someone at AskMen thinks it needs to stop.

And he means business.

The article puts men in their place right from the start: “When women emasculate us, it’s often because we let them do it. Our wives don’t want to think of us as anything less than men — they only think about us like that when we act like that. All those emasculating trends in our relationships, we’re complicit in them. If you no longer feel like the man of the house, it’s at least partly your fault.”

Of course, showing any signs of having an actual human soul will lead your girlfriend to see you as a girly child and treat you as such. If you’re not pounding your chest and tearing the flesh off a dead zebra, something is very, very wrong with you. And your lady hates it.

Let’s see what the “men” at AskMen advises the boys to do:

AskMen says: Stop asking for her opinion… It can get dangerously easy to defer to her when making a simple decision, like which restaurant to go to, either because you want her to be happy or because you honestly don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with asking for input periodically, but incessantly asking her what she wants to do tonight, or what she’s thinking about, will only irritate her.

I say: I would love a man to ask my opinion on something and actually care what the response is. It shows that you really care about someone when you consider their own wants and needs as well as your own. And, no, I don’t think a guy is super girly if he asks me what restaurant I’d prefer.

Askmen says: No good can come from baby talk. It’s one of the most common emasculating trends in a relationship. You may think it’s cute; she may think it’s cute, but we can guarantee she doesn’t think it’s sexy, and in a relationship sexy trumps cute 100% of the time.

I say: I baby-talk with my boyfriend and love it. We both recognize that it’s a bit ridiculous, but it’s fun to have a break from proper English now and then. And I may not find it sexy, but he does.

Askmen says: Stop whining… We understand she’s your significant other, and if you’re worried about losing your job or about your Dad’s health, she’s obviously your go-to person. Just try to keep minor annoyances to yourself.

I say: This is probably good advice for relationships and friendships. No one wants to be around someone who can only see negatives in life. But don’t be afraid to talk to your girlfriend if something is really bothering you, even if it is just a little thing like an mean comment from a coworker or a headache. It will probably make her feel good to know you want to go to her with that stuff. This is a relationship, after all – aren’t we supposed to put our guards down and be who we are?!

Askmen says: One way to remind her you’re a man, is to remind her she’s a woman. So get traditional. Take her out to dinner and choose the restaurant yourself. Buy her flowers and open the car door for her. Pay for the meal. Going a little old school is a great way to reverse emasculating trends. It will remind her that you’re a gentleman — emphasis on the man part. You’re a guy who can take care of her and make her feel like a lady.

I say: Ah, gender roles at their finest. Any women would appreciate a nice meal or flowers now and then, but remember that we don’t need men to take care of us and make us ladies.

All in all, this article is basically a bunch of gender stereotypes compiled into a neat little list. It’s about time men stop worrying so much about being “men” and start focusing on being humans. Because the most emasculating thing of all? Turning to a website to teach you how to be a “real man.”

Take that, AskMen.com!

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