The Fat Camp Chronicles: This Place Might Kill Me


"Just smile through the pain. Smile. Through. The. Pain."

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it here another two weeks. I may kill myself. Or someone else.

I say this because yesterday I was forced to do a mini-triathalon. I’m not sure if I’ve ever endured greater agony than what I just experienced. Alright, that’s sort of an overstatement, but it really was incredibly effing hard. I could use a nap right about now. Until next Tuesday.

Since my last post (and weigh-in) I’ve lost at least 7 pounds. A couple nights ago I looked at a picture taken of me the night before I came here and one taken the other day and I saw really exciting results. I’ve definitely halved myself (at least in the stomach area).

Other discoveries since this last weigh-in:

Chocolate. There is a stock-pile of mini chocolates in camp and I’ve been exposed to it. The good news is that when I do get my hands on some cocoa deliciousness I share it with my bunkmates, since many of us tend to go into homicidal rampages when we don’t get something sweet or chocolatey. And because of all the other good choices I’ve been making, I’ve still lost weight. Go me!

I Hate Hiking. Yesterday I experienced my first hike here, and let me tell you, a bunch of fat chicks trying to climb up a mountain is pretty terrible. And funny. I did make it up that mountain, though, without even whining. It was a miracle! But I still hated it.

I’m Tired and Angsty. I find it increasingly hard to write these posts due to extreme exhaustion. The main cause is workout classes taught by former female bodybuilders. No, I am not kidding. Despite our fatness, they don’t cut us any slack. One would think that because we are out of shape they’d go easy on us, but no – not at all. These things make me so tired that I can’t even produce sufficient sarcasm and humor in these posts anymore. And sarcasm and humor are what I do – unlike the bitterness and constant complaining I find myself engaging in here.

But it will all be worth it in the end. I’m learning new things and changing my life, right? RIGHT?

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