Hey! You! Got a question?! Do as so many of you have done already and send Tuffy Luv a blooping email!! [email protected] and all that. And now, on with the show.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I can’t believe my bad luck. Every time I think I meet a nice guy, and give him my number – I’m disappointed. This same situation has happened over and over, and it happened again last weekend. We met each other at a party of a mutual friend. This is the night, as it happened: We’re introduced to one another and have a great conversation talking about my major, his plans for the summer, my year abroad, his trip to Scotland….everything. And it was so refreshing! We talked for hours, laughed together…and there was a sweet kiss at the end of the night. He gives me his number (I didn’t have a phone yet, because I just returned from a year abroad), and he says he would love to take me out to dinner sometime. He whispers into my ear “Please, don’t hesitate AT ALL to call me,” and I say “okay, I’ll call.”
He sends me a Facebook message the next day and it’s those 2 words again, “CALL ME.” He even tells another guy friend that night that that I’m “beautiful” and he’s “really interested” in me. I waited a day or so and gave him a call, left a message….and never heard back (this was 5 days ago). Part of me wants to believe he’s busy or he’s away but I know that’s not the case and the reasonable side of me says HE LOST INTEREST, YOU IDIOT! But, I don’t understand! Why, if he had no interest, did he volunteer all of that. I didn’t go to the party looking for a boy; I’m completely happy on my own. I don’t mind being single at all, but the fact that he sparked an interest in me, be it fake or the real stuff, is the MOST frustrating thing, EVER.
Why do guys do this? Should I still call him or just forget it? It’s never one type of guy so I know it’s not the guys I’m choosing…. What am I doing wrong?
Lost in Translation
Honey, if I knew what was wrong with men, would I be a columnist on a (delightful) website?! No. I’d be president of the floopin’ world, that’s what I would be. President. Of. The. Floopin’. World.
Since I am not, in fact, president of the floopin’ world, let’s assume–for now–that I don’t know what’s wrong with men. So let’s get on to the meet of your question, shall we?
So–why don’t you send him a message on Facebook? He already contacted you there, so I assume you’re already Facebook friends. Just respond to the message he sent and say, “Hey, I called you. Call me back.”(Presumably, by now, you have a phone number.)
If he doesn’t call you back after that–I’d say move on with your life. Why do you want to be with a guy who can’t be bothered? So not worth it. Relationships are hard enough with someone you can actually trust.
And as for the larger part of your question, which is basically why are men treating you like this–I don’t know. What kind of messages are you leaving when you call them? Maybe you’re coming off in a way that is scaring them off? Grab a guy friend or two and tell them what kind of messages you’ve been leaving. Maybe they’ll have some insight.
But, more likely, it’s just that college guys can’t be bothered. I promise, SOME of them get better as they age. In the meantime, try approaching guys at places other than parties. Sometimes when there’s alcohol involved the connection gets screwy.
Good luck, girl! I promise there IS a guy out for you somewhere–and he WILL return your calls.
Hearts & Skulls,