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And Here’s Why You’ve Been Dumped, Boys

guy crying

"I'm sorry, but all this crying is really a turn-off."

Okay, when it comes to relationships, we all know what not to do (despite the fact that when the time comes we often throw these notions out the window and become clingy, head over heels, I’m-going-to-talk-to-you-in-a-baby-voice, psycho GFs). And if we don’t, well, YourTango asked a guy to break it all down for us and explain just why guys dump us.

The list wasn’t groundbreaking (I mean, who wouldn’t break up with someone who never listens?), but it got me thinking about the reasons we ladies dump the dudes. Sure, everyone has their own specific reasons sometimes – like my friend who discovered her BF trying on her underwear… – but there are some pretty basic male tendencies that will get any guy kicked to the curb: 

1. Our Friends Don’t Like You
Sorry, but our BFF’s opinions reign supreme to even our parents, and their approval means everything to us. If our friends think you’re ugly, weird, or have the personality of “a wet noodle” (of course no one has ever said this about someone I’ve dated…), you’re a goner for sure.  We may be blinded by lust, but that’s why we keep the girls around.

2. We Are Bored
Dinner is nice, so is a movie. But the same dates weekend after weekend get old….fast. We’re college students for God’s sake, not a married couple with a 10PM bedtime and a babysitter at home! If you can’t continue to show us a good time, there’s a campus full of cuties around who will. Maybe we’ll call in ten years when a glass of wine and an episode of “Friends” turn us on.

3. “Who Are You Texting?!”
We had a life before you, and life will go on after you. We are not going to delete our whole address book or stop hanging with other people just because we are dating someone. Insecurity is a huge turn-off to us girls, so trust us or you’re gonna end up alone.

4. You Turn into the Hulk Around Your Friends
We get you have a male ego to maintain, but when you bring us around your friends we don’t automatically morph into a beer guzzling frat boy. Dirty jokes? Acceptable. Pong tournaments? If we can play and kick your ass. But when you start slapping our backs, getting wasted and hanging all over the blonde on the couch, that’s where we draw the line. We can hang with the guys, but we still want to be treated like the girlfriend that we are. Holding the door and offering to get us another drink wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

5. You Cry After Sex, During Sad Movies, When You See Road Kill…
A little sensitivity is a great quality, and by that we mean a hug when we bomb our midterm, some flowers when our childhood pet passes away, and a massage after a week of hell at work. What we don’t mean is tears. And snot. And weeping. It might be perpetuating the “macho man” stereotype, but, sorry, that’s what we want in a guy.

6. You Turn Into Our Dad When We Go Out
Yes, I am going to have another martini. I am going to dance on the bar if I want to. And no this skirt isn’t too short. If I wanted my every move monitored I would have invited my dad out for drinks! Nothing is more annoying than a clingy boyfriend who tries to outfit you in a penguin suit and have you sent off to the convent when you start dating. As long as we aren’t in serious danger, let us live a little. If you tighten that chain too much, we’ll suffocate, and by that we mean dump you!

7. We Feel Unappreciated

We hate (more than you even know) to sound like our mothers, but its inherent in our nature. When we cook dinner for you, we want to know how good it is. When we go out in our new little black dress, we want to know how good it looks. And when we call you at the end of the day, we want to know how much you miss us (in a manly, macho, take charge kind of way). If we don’t feel appreciated, we are going to look elsewhere for the gratification, like the rugged rugby player who always notices the way we smell in class….

What other things do boys do that have them scratched right off your date-worthy list?

Brianna is a Starbucks addicted, stiletto wearing city girl, and a new Collegecandy intern!