Duke It Out: The First-Semester Boyfriend

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[It’s pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we’d give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I’ll be featuring a hot topic (like healthcare reform!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

There’s all kinds of advice out there about your freshman year, but more than what classes to take or how I should bring my own Solo cup to parties, the the biggest piece of advice I heard back then was “don’t get a boyfriend right away, play the field.” Of course, being the serial monogamist that I am, I didn’t listen. And got a boyf faster than most students unpacked their boxes. But now I have to wonder if I would have been better off if I had listened to those wise sages. There’s a definite up and down side to the first semester boyfriend, and I think we owe it to all the ladies getting ready to start freshman year to talk it out.

The temptation of the first semester boyfriend is almost insurmountable. You’re in a new place, surrounded by new people – new, attractive people – who don’t know about that time in high school when you slipped in chocolate pudding and had to walk around all day with a brown stain on your butt. All of a sudden you get to pick the kinds of classes you take, the activities you get involved in, the events you go to – which means your chances of meeting someone who’s really compatible with you is way higher than when you were just meeting guys who lived in the same school district as you.

And freshman year is a time when everyone’s coming out of their shell, meaning you could end up meeting a great guy who’s just not the type you’d have ever dated before. Having someone to go out with could encourage you to go places and do things you might not do on your own; and let’s not ignore the fact that freshman year can be a little scary – having someone to share that with (whether he’s a freshman too, or is just remembering it) could be a real comfort.

Maybe the biggest problem of all with avoiding a BF when you start school is that it seems so arbitrary. College is supposed to be a time when you can let loose and do what you want to do instead of what you’re “supposed” to do, so why shouldn’t you date whoever you want to whenever you want to?

The downside, of course, is what getting a boyfriend at the start of college keeps you from doing. By being tied down to one person early on, you could be held back from doing things because your significant other doesn’t want to do them. We’ve all encountered the problems of balancing friends with a BF, but at the beginning of college, when you don’t have many friends to start with, it’s easy to spend all of your time with the guy, keeping you from getting close with others.  And while not all of them are fun, those learning experiences that you’re “supposed” to have starting out (like which guys at the party to avoid after you’ve done tequila shots) can be important, and you will miss some if you’re playing the couple.

Finally, (though some do make it) most people who start dating in freshman year end up breaking up down the line,which could mean that you’ll have wasted a lot of time and opportunities – trust us, you don’t want to have regrets. People evolve, particularly in college, so the person you start dating as a freshman, may not be the same guy when you graduate.

Well girls, what do you think? Is it worth the risks to get a first semester BF? Should you swear off serious dating at the start of college? What did you do your freshman year? Or what will you be doing when it starts? Sound off in the comments!

What He Really Thinks Of Your… Bleached Denim
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