Project Runway Rundown: Freaks and… Lohan?

So, after what seems like 1,000 years without a little Heidi and Tim in my life, Project Runway made its return last night. For 4.5 hours. And I was in heaven.

Of course, before we got to meet the new designers in the main event, we had a little taste of some of our favorite designers from previous seasons in the Project Runway All-Star Challenge. I was more than happy to spend two hours with Chris March, Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, among others, but after seeing the snooze-fest of a cast that is season six, I wish I hadn’t been teased with such greatness.

Yeah, I said it. I think this season’s cast is bo-to-the-ring. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

The All-Star challenge was star studded (Nicole Kidman, what?!), suspenseful (“Project Runway on steroids,” according to Uli), and fun to watch (except for Jeffrey’s new ‘stache – what the eff was up with that?). And it had a fantastic ending for my favorite designer in PR history, which I won’t share here in case some of you missed it. (It was Daniel! Sorry, I can’t keep it to myself. I just love him so much and he should have one the first time around!!)

Once King Daniel was crowned, it was time for the real deal: the Project Runway Season 6 premiere. I ran to the bathroom quickly (turning the TV up loud enough so I wouldn’t miss a moment), then grabbed a snack and settled in for amazingness.

And I waited.
And waited.

Yup. A full 60 mins went by and I got nothing. Sure, some of the new designers proved they had the talent to be on the show, and some of them brought the weird, but did any of them have a Christian/Santino/Jay McCaroll personality? One word: nopers.

Granted, I did enjoy watching the challenge. In fact, I was quite relieved when I heard it was to design an outfit that showcased who these people were as designers and innovators, because in the past the crazy-weird challenges sometimes led to early dismissals of people that could’ve stayed longer. This was an open challenge and really let us see what each of these designers were about. And what did we learn?

Apparently Johnny is all about crying.
Ari is all about being a super-freak.
And Mitchell is all about showing off his model’s lady parts.

And who got to judge all this madness coming down the runway? None other than Lindsay Freaking Lohan. As in repeat-rehab, fire-crotch, tanorexic Lohan. I couldn’t believe it! Lindsay Lohan…was working! And she looked good! And she spoke eloquently! And I seriously had issues wrapping my mind around the fact that this girl – the queen of the crotch shot – was judging other people’s designs. But she did a great job and gave some pretty good feedback.

Even to freakaleak, Ari.

For a moment I thought she was going to love that spacey soccer ball design because:
1) It’s super short, which is perfect for vajayjay flashing, and
2) Ari looks JUST. LIKE. SAMANTHA RONSON. Did anyone else see that? OMG, it was eery.

Anyways, Christopher ended up winning the challenge because of his cute black ruffle dress (which was one of the only memorable ones, right?), but I also LOVED Ra’mon’s (love his name too) navy asymmetrical gown. It just screamed Red Carpet.

And while I’m sad the biggest freak of all got sent home (seriously, that girl wanted to make clothes that could turn into tents with water filtration systems??), I’m not sure I could handle her spandex onesies for another episode. Auf….er…See ya later, Ari!

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