A few weeks ago, I asked one of my boys what guys were most afraid of in the bedroom. For him it was knockin’ a girl up. For me it was weird farty noises.
Needless to say, I felt a bit shallow. I mean, shouldn’t I be the one fearing a bun in the oven? And shouldn’t he just be scared of skid marks in his boxer shorts?
I wanted to know if I was alone, so this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their biggest nightmares involving boys. Some of them have experienced them and others, thankfully, have avoided the awkwardness thus far. Luckily, I’m not alone in my fears. And even more luckily, none of this shiz has ever plagued me before.
I just pray and hope it never does.
Thu – USC: Standing up and discovering that you’ve started your period. Yup, Superbad status.
Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: Having gas while you’re hooking up. Or even worse – farting in your sleep while they’re still awake. Definitely guilty of that one.
Kayla – California State University, Sacramento: If my boyfriend ever found out about the ghastly habits I indulge in when I close the bathroom door, I would have to enroll in the Witness Protection Program.
Kim – Stanford: My worst nightmare in the bedroom was when his mother walked in on us, said sorry, but to come down for some cookies when we were done. True story.
Ava – NYU: Hmm, I think it would have to be vomiting on a guy. There’s a way in which drunk isn’t sexy…Luckily, this hasn’t happened to me. Let’s hope that never changes!
Lauren – University of Michigan: The time I clogged the toilet at a boy’s house. And he had to come in and help me clean it up. Just thinking about it gives me the chills.
Kay- Simmons College: Farting or queefing during the act is mortifying.
Lindsay – University of Texas: I had a sick stomach and my fiance and I were 69ing and I farted in his face. Most humiliating moment of my entire life. I have no clue why he’s still engaged to me.
Sarabeth – University of Texas: I’m always terrified that somehow in bed I’m going to end up kneeing him in the balls. I’d feel sooooo bad if that happened, and I take extra precaution to insure my knee is no where near the naughty bits.
Jordan – University of Miami: Trying to show off a hair-flipping sexy move from an exercise pole dancing class and giving him a bloody nose. So much for sexy.
Noa – CU Boulder: I hadn’t waxed my bikini line in a long time. When I was hooking up with this guy he took of my pants and actually said “Whoa.” I wanted to cry.
Sara C- Fordham: I was visiting my hometown crush at his school during my spring break. One day I was taking a shower, and in the middle of washing my hair I started to feel really ill. I called to him in the next room, he came in, and I threw up all over him. No, I wasn’t drunk. Yes, I was naked, with suds in my hair.
What do you fear most?